Ascent-Answer writing

Here comes a big question. When shall I start writing? I don't have requisite information to write 200 words. What should I write?What is the format? How should it start and end?Why should I practice answer writing? Who will evaluate them?

These questions generally strike an aspirant's mind. Well, the answer lies in the bold words. 

When?What?How?Why?Who?

Whenever you go through a topic question yourself on these five aspects and filter out the information accordingly. For example, Consider the 15 year long vision document of NITI AAYOG. It is quite in news and definitely an important topic. Now if I ask myself these five questions,

What is NITI AAYOG?

Why has it been formed?

Who are the members?

How was the institution established?

When was the institution established?,

Don't I have the basics required to answer a subjective question on the issue? Analyzing the question  won't it become easier to attempt it? If the questions asks the relevance of NITI AAYOG, knowing the WHY would make it easy to analyze the relevance and come up with arguments for and against. The fodder will come from newspapers, current affairs. Combine basics with current knowledge and you have the answer. But it would need sincere practice. At least it was needed in my case.

I began writing from December 2013 to December 2014. I selected questions from UPSC past year questions papers, questions from leading websites and mock tests of VISIONIAS. This let several dimensions of a topic come in front of me before the exam. I also used plain A4 sheets to practice. As I got my roll number, I mentioned it at the bottom of the 1st page to make me aware about the importance of this practice.DAILY! Initially don't bother about the quality. Let thoughts flow and write as they come. The organization, structure etc. will follow. But don't leave the practice just because it may take time to reach a higher, better stage. Appearing, but with a weakness is not going to give the desired result. Do you really want regret? If no then practice sincerely.  

All the best. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 29, 2016)

Moving on the way to the Institute of Engineering and Technology they passed another treasure of the city, the Jal Mahal. Ornamented by the necklace of a water lake, the Midas touch of the sun had further turned every drop golden. It seemed as if the Mahal had worn extra glace of gold to welcome Mannu. Mannu had no other way to say a shukriya, thank you, except remembering it forever. Camels and elephants had become a common sight. Here too, tourists from foreign countries were enjoying the ride, getting pictures clicked through the long and heavy lens of their cameras. Ditches had vanished so Mannu took out the water bottle and drank some water. The hills had few green patches on them.

The aroma of kachoris, mirchi bada, from toadside dhabas entered Mannu’s nostrils. The driver had stopped to buy tobacco and bidi . A folk song played loud on the stereo but the men exchanged greetings undisturbed. Their laughs overcame the vocals. Mannu steeped down, splashed some water on his face and they were ready to move again.

“Ye Amber ka Qila hai dost, This is the Amber Palace my friend.” The auto driver spoke up pointing his finger towards the left. Mannu nodded his head, unable to find words of reverence for the Qila’s grandiosity. He gazed at it until they crossed its 200 metre stretch. The lake in front was swampy with a green algal coat. On the outside it was lined by auto rickshaws and elephants. Tourists flocked the whole place. The delicacies served here were also the same kachori, mirchi bada, and ghevar. The rate cards hung outside the shop with discounted prices written big and bold. A long queue at the ATM had caused a roadblock. The auto drivers were constantly shouting at the roadside shopkeepers. If not for them much of the space would have been saved.  A florist was trying to hide the flowers from the black puff of smoke. Mannu’s auto driver greeted him and he kept a five rupees packet of flower on the dashboard.

 “Saab paanch rupee...” The driver asked Mannu. He was confused. Why was he to pay for that packet?

“Saab paanch rupee...”The driver asked again. The honking of the vehicles forced Mannu to act hurriedly and the transaction was done. Mannu asked the driver to hand him the packet. There was no aroma from the flowers. The colour was faded. But what could be done now?

 The destination was minutes away when Mannu’s cell phone beeped. It was Pia. She was anxious to know about Mannu’s situation.

“Did you like Jaipur?”These were her first words which even escaped a hello or hi.

“Ya...its good...but Pia...I am missing you more now...”spoke Mannu in return.

“Oh my baby....don’t worry...Now when you’re in Jaipur I’m sure we’ll meet very soon...”

“Hmmmm....I hope the same.” Her voice had gathered much charm and anxiety.

For the second time God’s words had proved their trueness. You win something, you lose the other. You lose something, you win the other. Far away from home, leaving all the things behind, this was the only thought of hope that was to keep Mannu full of life. He was going to meet Pia.

“Shukriya...” Mannu said to the auto driver as he helped him unload the belongings.

“Rs.150 se kuch kam hoga ???” Mannu asked him.

“Nai saab, No sir...”He replied and Mannu immediately paid him the amount.

“Shukriya aapka....”Mannu said again,  standing in front of the gates of the Institute of Engineering and Technology, the college of his destiny.

“Ram Ram Sa...”The driver said and left.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 29, 2016)

Moving on the way to the Institute of Engineering and Technology they passed another treasure of the city, the Jal Mahal. Ornamented by the necklace of a water lake, the Midas touch of the sun had further turned every drop golden. It seemed as if the Mahal had worn extra glace of gold to welcome Mannu. Mannu had no other way to say a shukriya, thank you, except remembering it forever. Camels and elephants had become a common sight. Here too, tourists from foreign countries were enjoying the ride, getting pictures clicked through the long and heavy lens of their cameras. Ditches had vanished so Mannu took out the water bottle and drank some water. The hills had few green patches on them.

The aroma of kachoris, mirchi bada, from toadside dhabas entered Mannu’s nostrils. The driver had stopped to buy tobacco and bidi . A folk song played loud on the stereo but the men exchanged greetings undisturbed. Their laughs overcame the vocals. Mannu steeped down, splashed some water on his face and they were ready to move again.

“Ye Amber ka Qila hai dost, This is the Amber Palace my friend.” The auto driver spoke up pointing his finger towards the left. Mannu nodded his head, unable to find words of reverence for the Qila’s grandiosity. He gazed at it until they crossed its 200 metre stretch. The lake in front was swampy with a green algal coat. On the outside it was lined by auto rickshaws and elephants. Tourists flocked the whole place. The delicacies served here were also the same kachori, mirchi bada, and ghevar. The rate cards hung outside the shop with discounted prices written big and bold. A long queue at the ATM had caused a roadblock. The auto drivers were constantly shouting at the roadside shopkeepers. If not for them much of the space would have been saved.  A florist was trying to hide the flowers from the black puff of smoke. Mannu’s auto driver greeted him and he kept a five rupees packet of flower on the dashboard.

 “Saab paanch rupee...” The driver asked Mannu. He was confused. Why was he to pay for that packet?

“Saab paanch rupee...”The driver asked again. The honking of the vehicles forced Mannu to act hurriedly and the transaction was done. Mannu asked the driver to hand him the packet. There was no aroma from the flowers. The colour was faded. But what could be done now?

 The destination was minutes away when Mannu’s cell phone beeped. It was Pia. She was anxious to know about Mannu’s situation.

“Did you like Jaipur?”These were her first words which even escaped a hello or hi.

“Ya...its good...but Pia...I am missing you more now...”spoke Mannu in return.

“Oh my baby....don’t worry...Now when you’re in Jaipur I’m sure we’ll meet very soon...”

“Hmmmm....I hope the same.” Her voice had gathered much charm and anxiety.

For the second time God’s words had proved their trueness. You win something, you lose the other. You lose something, you win the other. Far away from home, leaving all the things behind, this was the only thought of hope that was to keep Mannu full of life. He was going to meet Pia.

“Shukriya...” Mannu said to the auto driver as he helped him unload the belongings.

“Rs.150 se kuch kam hoga ???” Mannu asked him.

“Nai saab, No sir...”He replied and Mannu immediately paid him the amount.

“Shukriya aapka....”Mannu said again,  standing in front of the gates of the Institute of Engineering and Technology, the college of his destiny.

“Ram Ram Sa...”The driver said and left.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 27, 2016)

If only one cardiac muscle and only one neuron of yours makes you think that God is the ultimate doer of all good, one day He will surely make you a believer. The morning star of Mannu’s new real world up ahead and the smile on his face was back again. The wind was warmer and the heat much more intense.

The ditched city streets of the Pink City, Jaipur, inclined the auto rickshaw three times towards the left and five times towards the right. The sunlight penetrated in and out the dark shed of the auto. As a child welcomes a guest at his home by smiling and peeping from behind his mother’s back, the same way the sun peeped at Mannu, in and out, from the motherly skies. He was enjoying this welcome. The trip had been uneventful as Mannu kept on sleeping for the whole journey. Only once did he open his eyes to produce the ticket and identity proof to the TTE. Visit to the toilet had become a compulsion but he resisted facing the darkness around. He woke up at around 6 in the morning when the calls of chaiwalla disturbed his imagination. His heart said that he was one step closer to his forever love. He tried calling Mrs. K, but the call didn’t connect. With a diary and pen he took a window side and started writing. Drowsiness had still not left his eyes.

Every city has its local taste. The Pink City too, had its own flavour. After driving several 100 metres one had to save the vehicle’s front tyre from the gates of a mandir and the feet of the pujaris. Mandirs seemed more crowded than cafeterias and food parlours. Truly, God asks nothing more than a Rs.1.50 laddoo . The local auto driver, considering Mannu a guest, named every structure of the city as it passed which included the choti chaupad and the badi chaupad. They were much more a leisure island for the cows of the city rather being a chauraha. The auto passed the Hawa Mahal. Temple bells near it heightened the confusion around that place. A queue of worshippers made the traffic come to halt. Bangles, traditional decoratives, dresses, foot wears were being sold around. Pink had be friend several other colours. The shops were surrounded by foreign faces who were mesmerized by the architectural and monumental beauty of Hawa Mahal and the artistry of objects being sold. Their hanging jaws, loud expressions added another speechless compliment. Every other local man had a sense of simplicity on his face and an aura dipped in Krishna’s bhakti.

Ascent-Full coverage of syllabus

It may appear wise to read limited stuff, but with all the focus and all possible dimensions and assure oneself that any question from this area is my cup of tea. Thus I will do limited study, but do it with utmost quality.

Well, if one goes through the past year questions of UPSC CSE it is quite clear that there is no particular area or subject that will surely have a determined set of questions. Now a candidate with limited but healthy coverage may fall into a trap that the best prepared areas go missing in the actual paper and questions asked may fall outside the scope of his coverage.

For example, X is very well prepared with modern history and has had a cursory glance at ancient history. Now it may happen that ancient history is given more weight age than modern history in that particular year. All the hard work may lead to nothing. And who wants that? The hard work deserves best results.

Thus the approach should be to cover the entire syllabus and that too with the best efforts. The grey areas can be known by attempting questions. Know them practice them more and try to bring all the subjects at par to make the breakthrough.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Mock tests

Mock tests played a very crucial role in my preparation. With an year in hand one can plan studies according to the mocks. I took a whole year series of VISIONIAS and divided the tests at an interval of 15 to 20 days and planned studies accordingly.

For example, On 1st of a month I planned to attempt a paper on say 15th of that month so with all the material in hand I gave 15 days to study the mock test content. It included current affairs, The hindu and answer writing from insightsonindia, past year questions(just a basic structure). On the 15th of the month I revised all the content related to the test and attempted the mock.

Thus I prepared myself for comprehensive content, exam oriented studies, performance pressure and analysis and one day revision.

I also planned the test for optional after a day or sometimes a day or two before.

Planning mocks is thus very important apart from attempting them seriously within the stipulated time limit.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-The right pen

I hear and find that there is a lot of confusion around which pen to use for mains. Relax. Just find a pen that does not blot, is comfortable for 6 hour writing,sleek and not very costly. Nothing else.

I used Pilot V5. Also Reynolds 045 is a good option. Avoid using gel pens as they run out of ink very often. Avoid using a brand new pen in the exam to avoid any nervousness. Buy several refills to save money and space. Rest all is fine. The prime focus should be on content.

I hope this helps. All the best

Ascent-Gift yourself

To keep motivation high during the long course of preparation one surely has to ensure that one is happy and enjoying the process. What I used to do was to gift myself after little achievements. For example, If I completed my weekly targets or scored good in a mock test I used to gift myself luxury time by doing what I loved to do such as playing guitar or watching a movie with some wafers and tea, or went out to dine at a restaurant giving a break to my daily tiffin.It gave a sense of contentment that I am on the right path and I can keep going.

Depending person to person these little gifts can work wonders and keep you focussed.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Why NCERT’s?

Why NCERT’s?

 Ideally the start of the preparation should be done with NCERT’s, the reason being that they are informative and easy to understand. In our daily life also the first step is to know what things are and only then the details can be looked out.for example If you learn how to ride a bike, first you look the basic details like where is the clutch, the brake, the horn etc, how do they work and only in some course of time you are ready to drive smoothly. The same applies here. NCERT does also give an idea about the entire subject at hand in a very simple and lucid manner. The addition follows. Also you should start increasing your general awareness which can be done by reading a newspaper preferably, a monthly magazine. This will build up the base of your knowledge and with time things will keep adding on through small daily acts of hard work and discipline.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Coaching and Self Study

Coaching and Self Study

Coaching classes are generally arranged 6 to 7 days a week. Attending the classes takes time and effort too and it happens that one is left with very little time for self study.

For self study one can divide days for different subjects. Say, for example you are reading Indian polity in your class. So, you can pick History/Geography etc. just for 15 to 30 minutes every day to keep up the coverage. Ideally revision of Polity should be done before going to the class. That can also be done on the go, while having a tea break or while commuting. At home keep reading History/Geography. In this way all the subjects can be read and revised in parallel.

But please remember it is of utmost importance to have a grip on optional. Don’t let the optional lag behind.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Attending seminars?

Is there any benefit of attending seminar for CSE preparation?

It can act as a saviour or it can be just another casual affair,a place of gossip with friends, depending upon how you choose to take it, what information do you extract out of the time that you put in to attend it. Be prepared, have a list of the genuine questions you have before attending the seminar. Check weather they are answered or not. If not you can leave. It also depends upon the speaker. These days coaching are putting up seminars of selected candidates who can provide useful insights into the nitty gritty of preparation, which may take a long time to reach you otherwise. The thing is are you prepared to know them?

As a personal example, I choose to prepare for civil services after attending a seminar. Although it didn’t give me the insights about how and what about preparation, for the speaker was the founder of a coaching institute, but he inspired me to join the services. The journey was long, but it was worth it.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Target 2017

It is an opportune time to start the preparation now. It would be advisable to get a thorough command over the optional subject as it is really a game changer in Mains. Parallely you can go through current affairs also to keep variety in studies. Once you have covered the optional which should take around 2 to 3 months or may be 4, then you can start off with the General studies subjects and start reading them from the Mains point of view and keeping the mains syllabus in context. It would automatically prepare yo for the Prelims. This exercise should continue and it should be clubbed with Optional answer writing and revision.

Depending upon the date of the Prelimnary exam take a minimun 2 months window to start focusing completely towards prelims. What you can do is read Paper 1 and 2 of mains from January on wards so that by the time you finish these papers, prelims in near and this would help in revision because the content of these papers covers a subsequent portion of prelims and you will also be saved by repeating the same set of books again to memorize the facts. Less effort and maximum again.

After that it would be only revision and practice of answer writing.

I hope this heps. All the best.

Ascent-How to start?

The best approach is to have a clear bent of mind that you can clear the exam. That is first and foremost! To start with, get a complete idea about the exam pattern, the syllabus(through UPSC website) and the nature of questions asked in previous years and see if you are able to comprehend them.

When you find yourself abreast with the above information start with reading a newspaper, preferably Indian Express if you are not a regular reader of editorials and news which is required in this case. You can also go on with The Hindu. Parallely start finalizing the optional subject which can be done by reading a thin book(preferably NCERT Class 11^th and 12^th) that gives you an idea about the subject. There are several other factors to be considered while choosing the optional; such as

Availability of material; Proper guidance and your comfort in approaching the subject/personal interest.

Start preparing the optional. Optional is the game changer in Mains! Completing the optional should take around 3 to 5 months at max.

Again the question is whether to take coaching or not. It depends upon you, but I would suggest if you choose a completely new subject(which was not in your graduation/post graduation) coaching will be beneficial. Now the phase is that you study your optional on priority, read the newspaper daily. Now you can gradually build in reading General studies from NCERT (old books, which can be brought online from Delhi).  But read NCERT of same subject from class 6th to 12th. When that is done pick up the next subject and so on. You can easily complete 2 subjects of General studies and optional in 5 to 6 months at max. Give a revision to all you have read, update your notes and start making comprehensive notes for the GS subjects and start new subjects for GS. Also now you can start answer writing for optional and also for GS if you wish to. When the prelims is near only revise now and attempt papers. Write an answer or two of optional to stay in touch.

Slowly the knowledge base would start to build up. Things would look messed up but keep going on. Definitely find some time to revise the previously read subjects.

I hope this helps. All the best

Ascent-Notemaking

Some ideas to organize information for CSE Mains and prelims.

The essence of note making is that 

Firstly one should have maximum relevant information stored at a common place and secondly this requisite of information to serve as key in revision.

What I did was I divided a notebook according to the mains syllabus and whenever I found any information useful I added that in the required section. For example, Take a 300 page notebook and divide it into 4 papers and then label within each paper the parts of syllabus. Now if you come across the news of military coup in Turkey, open the page of international relations and add the information there. This way information gets organized.

Further you can make sub labels also. For example you can divide international relations as Middle east, South Asia, Latin America Asia etc. One thing that can be done to divide the entire syllabus is go through website of a news broadcaster say BBC or The Hindu and see how they have sectionalized the content. Whatever you find simpler to you adopt that approach. The essence is getting the bulk of information organized. INDEX at the start is a must!

Now when this is done the biggest question is what to include in notes. For example: You come across the news of flood in a district. The information that has to be included would go in Paper 3 disaster management label and it would not be just a copy of the news that Flood in Kerala, XYZ dead. NO. What you have to add is the district affected, the river which overflowed, what steps did the district administration take, which teams were deployed for rescue and so on.

Notes should give you what, why, how, where and when of the event/incident.

The exact pattern of note making can be done online using One note or other software.

For NCERT's and optional I used the side margins of books to make flowcahrts or arrowheads containing in bullet the information contained on the page. This way time is saved in revision. Also if I came across any information in a book I used to get the page photocopied and stuck in my base notes. I did the same for factual articles in newspapers.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-Booklist

This is a tentative list. You can check other websites anytime for any books you consider helpful. This is what I used:

Modern History-Spectrum publication, NCERT old and new

Indian Culture-Spectrum Publication, selected chapters from A Wonder That was India(by K.L. Basham)

Ancient History-NCERT Class 11^th(by R.S.Sharma), Kiran Publication(can be used, contains bullet point information)

Post Independence history-VisionIAS notes, covered most of it in Sociology using several books.

World History-Mastering Modern World history by Norman Lowe

Physical Geography-G.C. Leong Certificate Physical Geography(Orange cover)

Economics-Ramesh Singh(for basics), Economic Survey, India Year Book, TheHindu/Indian Express

Enviroment and Ecology-Shankar IAS book, Vision IAS notes, Class 12^th NCERT biology(Chapter 13-18)

International Relations-India’s Foreign Policy by V.N. Khanna(just to get overview of historical development of India’s relations.), The Hindu, Vision IAS notes

Society-(Read plenty as Sociology was my optional)

Indian Polity-M.Laxmikanth(More than sufficient). Also-Our Constitution by Subhash.C. Kashyap can be read.

 Social Issues-Yojana, Kurukshetra

Agro processing etc(Paper 3)-Notes from Mrunal, VisionIAS, Combined with Geography

Internal Security-VisionIAS notes, Internet

Ethics-Lexicon, book by D. Subbarao, VisionIAS notes

CSAT-Careel Launcher practice sets, basics from R.S.Aggarwal(Reasoning, Logical aptitude etc.)

Mock practice from daily questions on Insightsonindia website and VisionIAS

 Owing to my love for reading I read a lot of other books which helped in some way or the other.


I hope this helps. All the best. 

The Civil Services Examination-Expectations and Outcomes

What did I expect?What everyone expects?

Of course getting listed in the final list of the prestigious Civil Services in the first attempt. But the journey for me was not to short.

It was my first attempt at Prelims in May 2012, just two days after the end of college. I was striving hard from the past 7 months! Learning to keep a balance between the college studies and preparation for Civil Services. Taking class notes, Saving time, staying up till late night and waking up early in the morning to mug up articles of Constitution, revise maps and other limited study material that I had. I was in a completely new avatar; out from my love of watching movies of Al pacino, again and again or writing fiction or promoting my debut novel after its release in February, 2012. I had sincerely adopted the change, put my fascination to write fiction at stake. Priority was to attend classes for General studies and Geography(Optional) which were over by March and revise the notes and finally clear the Prelims.

The attempt was a meager one. CSAT, I thought would come to my rescue. Even in general studies I had performed well compared to all others in my group who attempted the exam from my college(Jaipur Engineering College, Jaipur). I ran out of the exam center in a fury. I enjoyed that evening. Had a fun time at Mcdonalds. I gave myself a party on working hard throughout these months and attempting the paper well.

After a break of 10 to 12 days preparation for the mains had begun. But a new reality was showing its face.  I had purchased the past year question paper set and was trying to answer them and I was struggling a lot in comprehending the questions of General Studies. They seemed not difficult, but completely new. I didn't had the requisite information to put in through 300 words. I didn't had even 100 concrete words! What was I doing from the past one year? How had I took things so lightly? What quality of study material had took my days and nights?

And even the prelims results had some other story to tell. I failed by a reasonable margin. It struck me awfully! I was unable to figure out how could my marks be so low when I had studied several books for each subject, had made hand written notes as well as memorized my coaching notes word by word, tried not to miss any class of general studies. What is beyond this that is needed to clear the exam? But no answer was to be found.

The wait and the search to get the right material, right guidance continued. The second optional was still undecided. My first optional, Geography, had been completed in coaching classes which I had to miss several times due to practicals, attendance issues and college assignments. Then I took on to mathematics. Went through the syllabus, purchased some books  only to return them after a few days. Mathematics had been my fear throughout the school life. I wondered if I would clear the exam with Mathematics as optional it would be a big win over my childhood fear. But thankfully, very soon I realized that clearing the exam is not about satisfying the hunger of your ego. Decisions cannot be made this way!

Search for the second optional continued and then I decided to take up Sociology as it was suggested by aspirants at the chai shop and near book stores that "it is a small subject and very easy to score."(which is not really the case.) In innocence I believed their words as the introduction they gave about themselves was that,
"I gave Mains in XYZ year with Sociology and scored XYZ marks.Scored low in interview." I considered it to be true reasonably. But was it really true that they had cleared even prelims is not sure and many of them, whose name I remember have still not made it to the final list. But I got the syllabus of the subject and I could comprehend it. I joined classes at RAU's (Jaipur Branch). I focused all my attention to study the optional(Sociology) after prelims. The classes continued for 3 months and after that I again lost track of what had to follow now. Sociology was again opened up, but not closed. Only the classes were over. I made many friends in the classes, but none who had cleared prelims or any other stage of the exam. All were looking for someone ahead of them in the journey. A study of the optional subject(Sociology) continued and my other optional(Geography) took a backseat.  Six months passed in a flash. Prelims came again in May 2013. Now the pattern of mains exam had changed. Only one optional was to be opted. The money and effort in studying Geography came to a total waste as  I decided to go for Sociology. It was fresh in my mind. Self introspecting myself after the test series that I attempted in my room, I thought that this time I was better prepared. I had read some new books as suggested by the coaching teachers.

The attempt was good, ahead of being meager. Again I started preparing myself for Mains 2013. The introduction of the ethics paper took a month's time and I was abreast with the complete syllabus of the subject. Hopes to attempt mains were very high this time. Result came on August 2, 2013. I had memorized the roll number. A friend from the coaching called and asked my, without a hi or hello, "Kya raha prelims ka result?" I was numb to know the fact that result is out. In a hurry I switched on the internet, but was unable to open it up due to slow speed. Tension was rising up. I went to my neighbor in the PG I used to live. The pdf file was downloaded in a click. He was a working guy. I searched my roll number. Mmmm..Mmmm..No. Nowhere it was! I went back to my room, brought the Hall ticket to his room and checked again but my roll number was not in the list. Again, I failed.

I didn't had the courage to call up my parents and tell them that I would take another year. The next morning I was asked to come back home, as early as I can,  to take a break and then decide what had to be done now. I had two options. One was to go for the placement offer by Infosys which was to come by November 2013 and the other was...Attempt the Civil Service Exam again in 2014! At this point home came to my rescue, yet again. The belief of my parents came as a light and they were in favor that I should continue to prepare for the next attempt. Analyse my approach, find my weakness and work towards them and things would surely be fine. 3rd is always the best one, my dad told me.

I made a list of my WEAKNESSES, which included,

1)Absence of quality and authentic study material.

2)Unstructured preparation in terms of improper comprehensive planning.

3)Complete dependence on coaching institute.

4)Attempting very few practice sets.

5)Attempting limited number of questions in prelims(around 60 questions in GS paper)

6)Giving more than required time to The Hindu.

7)Researching on the Optional time and time again(SOCIOLOGY).


Then I brought 3 significant changes in my preparation.

1)Connect myself with previous year toppers through Facebook(Although at first I didn't believe that it would work. It was the reason I had not contacted them in my previous attempts. But it did!)

2)Joined test series for Mains (Vision IAS) and prelims(Career Launcher).

3)Recast the study material(as suggested by toppers and module given by Vision IAS).

I started the preparation in an aligned way. I even changed my room and the complete atmosphere around me. The fresh beginning brought new hopes. With planned efforts for the tests and analyzing my weaknesses I came out more prepared.

In a polite message I had refused the offer by Infosys. Now I was on my own with nothing to cling upon. I had cleared the SSC CGL in 2013, the prelims of Rajasthan Administrative Services in 2013, but both the exams were cancelled and results withheld. I had only one ray of hope for my career.

I attempted the prelims again in 2014 after attempting around 25 mock tests.

The result arrived. I was at the tea shop, where I spent the whole day studying, and my phone beeped up with a message from Career launcher congratulating me for clearing the Prelims exams. Whooooo aaaaa!!!! Whoooo aaaaa!!! There I was, on top of the world now. Finally I had done it. The biggest stumble had left my way. The road forward was open. Still the journey was not over.

I geared myself for Mains. Fearful it sounded, but I had a belief that I can write well. I can sharpen myself more, I can do it to the best of my ability. With rigorous preparation I went on to attempt the Mains in 2014 finally after two failed attempts in prelims.

I cleared it in one GO!Whooo aaaa!!!Seemed like the biggest victory in life. 

I was called for the Personality Test on 8th May 2015. The final result was announced on 4th July 2015. 

I cleared it too in one GO!Whooo aaaa!!!

I found my name at rank 693. It wasn't  a dream anymore. Yes it wasn't. From an average guy passing class 12th from a government school, graduating from a private engineering college, with ordinary academic credentials, I went on to be among the qualifiers of one of the most toughest exams of the world. 

And this is what my journey has to say: If I can do it, anybody can do it.

Through this series I wish to be an aide, to all those who wish to do it, who dream to qualify the Civil Service exam. 

All the best. May your dreams find their horizon!

C U 2MROW @ 9 ( July 24, 2016)

“Separation brings sufferings...I know. Sufferings bring me a heart ache mummy.”Mannu spoke and paused for a while.

“Your son has grown older. When he has a heart ache...He just smiles.”said Mannu smilingly with his eyes fixed on his shoes. He had talked to Mr. K and took his blessings. He heard his father’s sobs for the first time. Mr. K was upset on being absent on his son’s farewell from home. But he, too, was helpless. Leave had been cancelled twice. Mrs. K hugged him, kissed on the fore head, the left and the right cheek and gazed at Mannu as if he was never coming back. It was the first time when Mannu didn’t erase the red lipstick marks. The insider within him had shown its new face.

Change had actuated. The signal turned green. Mannu’s heart, it seemed, was out its place. Somehow he managed to keep that smile. Channu hugged him.

“No pain...”Mannu spoke to him with their fists tightly blocked.

“No gain...”He said in a pretentious voice. Eyes are the tongue of your heart. Channu didn’t show his nervousness, but his eyes had a golden glow.

The siren blew. Mrs. K wiped her eyes and tried to erase the lipstick marks on Mannu’s face by her fingers. The mobile phone in his pocket was still awake by Pia’s messages.  Time was running faster than thoughts. The final whistle blew and the black smoke filled the sky. Mannu hung out from the doors. Mrs. K and Channu walked with the train.

“I’m not alone...”Mannu said to them in a high tone. They just kept on looking.

“I have memories...”He said to himself. The train paced up and all he could see was their blurred faces and waving hands. They didn’t signify a bye, but a comeback call. Again Mannu shouted at the top of his broken voice.

“See you soon...but not yet, not yet...”

He was left with no courage to open his eyes and face the new real world around. Most of the passengers were asleep. Darkness and loneliness were like brothers who never left hands. Mannu checked the heavy locks on the bags and lay down. Fear had started to roll up now. He couldn’t sustain the smile on his face. Visuals of mummy, home and everything that he had left and everything that he was leaving further, kept him wide awake. The slide show of memories skated from past to the present, present to the past and from past to the future. In the sub conscious state, he could see no future from the present.

Life had not yet stopped teaching lessons. He got to know the architecture of life rather the two phases that make it. One which always keeps an eye on you just like the moon that was visible from behind the bars of the train window. Another one silently waits for you to search it, see it and live it just like the next morning.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 23, 2016)

“Mannu...Mannu...”Mrs. K’s faint voice was heard. Mannu opened his eyes abruptly! Oh...he was still at the Charbagh station with sleep in his eyes. As he opened his eyes he saw people had started hanging luggage on their backs. Others checked their pockets, back pockets. Channu was standing next to him with the bags on his shoulders. Mrs. K was busy checking whether the locks were intact. Mannu couldn’t understand what was happening. He went back to sleep again, rested back on the seat and closed his eyes, but Mrs.

K shook him again. He closed his eyes again. The wakeup call was unusual. He could trust my sub conscious that it was not Mrs. K’s voice. With his eyes half closed and mouth open he was on the verge of falling down from the bench.

Paaawwwww....Paaawwwwww...It was the sound that resembled the last bell of a man’s life. Some reflex actions forced him to open his drowsy eyes. Yes. And the long wait was over. Train no. 4853 was standing still in front.  The wind on the station swayed every one away in the same direction that led towards the twin way entry-exit of the train.

The stomach ache had become unbearable. Mrs. K and Channu were waiting for the restless mob to come to rest. Mannu was still lying numb on the bench. He needed home, He needed his mother’s lap. Oh God...The moment had made him asthmatic. He lost the courage to stand, to walk till the other end of the platform.

“Come on Mannu...Pick that bag. It’s too heavy for me.”Mrs. K spoke with an effort to lift that bag.

“Yaa...Yaa..gimme...”Mannu said in a heavy voice, wiping the sweat balls rather sweat volley ball’s from his frowned face. The ten step walk to the train seemed much longer than several yards. But he was helpless. There was no chance to escape the moment, but to drag his feet to enter the new life. The whole world around him was silent after occupying the fraction of seat which was much more than the amount they had paid for it. Mannu checked out the passport to his new real world. Seat no. 19, Coach no. S4. After setting the bags and baggage to sleep, he was able to spare a moment with Mrs. K and Channu.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 22, 2016)

Every human out there was eager to reach his destination as soon as possible, but God had again played a strange game. Neither was Mannu able to stay here, nor was he able to leave. The train was to arrive at any moment. He raised the volume of the music player to equanimize himself. Mrs. K sat sleepy and silent. Channu was also bus with his music player. Sleep had over passed his eyes.

“Mannu...?”Mrs. K spoke just as Mannu removed the headphones.

“Hmmmm...”replied Mannu, partially busy in winding the wires.

“Listen carefully...Now you’re going out...Don’t spend lavishly...And call home twice a day. Eat properly...And did you take some aspirin???”

“Yes mummy...”Came Mannu’s dull reply.

“Good...take care of your headache...Study hard and sleep on time and...

“Ok...Ok mummy...Relax...I’ll be fine...You have already given these instructions so many times. I know mummy.”

Mannu was both anxious and a bit upset to enter a new life. Every debt was clear. Even Vivi had forgiven 400 rupees.  The inbox of Mannu’s mobile phone was filled with Pia’s messages. Since evening she was curious to know the happenings.

‘Did u keep everythn jaan???’

Message 238:

‘At what time u’ll reach 2morow???Did d train come and did u eat nethn???’

Message 250:

‘U’re alryt jaan???reply plzzzzz....u know your silence keeps me awake... ’

Mannu scrolled through the inbox to keep himself calm. There was something in every message of Pia which made him forget rest of the world. Unknowingly, reading her messages again and again had become his habit.The night had opened every door to welcome the morning. The three were totally exhausted. The watch showed 04:00am. Every other moment mummy said,

“Don’t go today Mannu...” and he just repeated “Ek na ek din to jana hi hai, I have to leave one day or the other...”Pia’s messages still kept the mobile vibrating.

The hustle at the station had subdued. People were asleep on their baggage, some who lived nearby had left back home. The waiting hall was full. All the eyes around were sleepy, devoid of hope. The journey had become a nightmare. Mannu had also fallen asleep in bits. Dreams passed him in the fifteen twenty minute long naps. A long time ago when he was away from the stars, he wanted to have one. He asked God about its cost. He smiled back, but gave nothing to Mannu. Few years later, God asked him to have one. Mannu was delighted. Mannu’s smile gave Him some answer, only He knows    what and the magic started. The world started shrinking. The star was coming near Mannu. Mannu’s old wish was just one step away from being his reality. That old star for which he had longed for years was calling but Mannu was unable to move. Only one question revolved in Mannu’s mind,

“Now, do I want it or not?”

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 21, 2016)

‘For the kind attention of the passengers, Train no. 4853, Marudhar express, from Varanasi to Jodhpur is running late and is expected to arrive at 3:00am.’

The delay had increased by 3 hours. Somehow, the three found a safe corner to hide themselves from the tears of the sky. It was raining since evening. The Charbagh station had become a shelter house for a large populace of the city. People were still running to catch the trains.  The whole platform looked like a dustbin with banana peels scattered all around. Rains and the peels had done a perfect job of making people watch their feet rather than the bogies of the trains. Tea sellers were sitting relaxed and contended, some with a biri in their hands. The never ending rains had helped them complete their sales in a very short time. The rains had shut down the Aloo Puri stalls.

To kill time and hunger, people were eating biscuits and most of the girls had a book in one hand and a coke in the other. Mrs. K, Mannu and Channu had come after dinner as was the usual routine for most that were to board the Marudhar express. But it was 2 a.m. in the morning and bellies of the young boys were again demanding something. Mannu wet and purchased a packet of biscuit and fruit cakes. The ac coach travellers had some uncommon eatables in their hands. For them Coke was a necessity even in the rains. It was a strange sight for Mannu. But the purpose was common; to kill the innocent time. From the past three and half hours the same events followed. A train came on the rail track and every step moved towards the horizontal end of the platform.  They slanged each other, pulled others just to grab some space on the non moving berth. Why not? Occupying a berth was much vital than saving humanity and humbleness. It was a show to watch.

 Mannu wondered where and why so many people go and that too at the same time? It was a silly soliloquoy!

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 19, 2016)

The time to leave for college had made its advent. From the past one week mornings seemed to come very early. After the daylong planning and listing of items to be purchased and packed Mannu hadn’t even fallen asleep and the clock brought the sun back again. The breakfast included entirely what Mannu demanded. Utappam, paneer pakoras, pasta and what not! Earlier it was denied. Mrs. K insisted only on fruits, boiled eggs and corn flakes. Now things were taking a different turn. Mrs. K could not afford to keep Mannu’s wishes unfulfilled till he was home. As a mother the idea sounded too unethical. He was more like a guest now.   

The present commenced with a thought of the future. Twice or even thrice a week, Mannu left out for a new purchase. Pia gave a placid idea about the trends in fashion. She also instructed him that purchase should be guided by the quality of clothing, not the brand. Pia was a frequent visitor of the street side market in Borivali and she knew the rates of men's shirts, trousers and shorts as well. As she went to the college she brisked the shops in an imagination of what would look good on Mannu and in this imagination she also inquired the price only to say later a price which was not at all acceptable to the seller. Her purpose was solved. The price range varied, but she was firm with the colors that should spread through Mannu’s wardrobe. A message popped up every morning about a new combination that Mannu should look for that day. But Mannu was a bit anxious about brands. Someday he came back with a pair of shoes and the other day with a pair of branded jeans. A brand purchase has always been proportional to money. Grand name, grand price! Mothers don’t know this. They just have a simple question ‘Why pay 3 times more for blue jeans which you can get for Rs. 500?’ Even so did Pia.

And because of this reluctance of Mrs. K he got annoyed and came out of the store. It happened several times.

“Let’s go mummy...I don’t want anything.”I spoke. Mrs. K said nothing, just grabbed his gloved arm and the second time they exit the store with a smile on Mannus face. The blue jeans cost him 2000 rupees. Mrs. K always purchased for her children, not only commodities, but contentment. Channu too was amazed on seeing the price tag of Mannu’s new wardrobe collection. He expressed it by swelling his lips and widening his eyes.  Mannu felt embarrassed, but happiness overcame. Mannu was 18 and Channu was 16. From infant to childhood, from childhood to adolescence they had shared their clothes and belongings. Now both had to separate them off. Today, time had really proved that it waits for none.

The buying and bringing continued for the whole day. Channu brought a lotion and forgot the shaving razor; Mannu brought a deodorant and forgot the blades. Everything, but, was new for personal use. On the other hand the postman had safely delivered the ticket. He safely delivered silence and that too without any extra charge. With wet eyes Mrs. K kept it on the mandir under a portrait of Sai Baba.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 17, 2016)

 The net package had already done more than it’s worth. Walking with time they both had started doing things for each other. Saving money for mobile top up was one big thing. Love had also taught them sacrifice. Pia walked the distance to her college instead of hiring an auto and saved twenty rupees in a to and fro journey. On the ‘how’ and ‘why’ that her mother used to ask about her delay she used to discuss it with Mannu beforehand and pass the scrutiny easily. Excuses were often repeated and their life was kept very casual. They were kept as short and relevant as possible. Back in her room she used to curse herself for this new habit she had to inculcate deliberately to nourish the new relation. 

“Relax dear...What else can we do? Would mum accept the truth?” came Mannu’s generic reply and what else she had suffice her anxiety? In some hottest afternoons Mannu managed to  escape Mrs. K’s eyes to walk to the recharge shop as getting the bike started was too noisy. Dedication was quiet and it always overcame heat. For Mannu, as the school was over so was his pocket money. The savings to clear the debt of Vivi had been spent in recharges and apart from that Mannu used to collect coins that he found in the side envelopes of the cover of the refrigerator or on the kitchen slab. The coins there worked as a weight to the bill that was left to be tallied by Mrs. K and one rupee less didn’t bother his mother much. Mostly five rupee coins were found from the box near the bedside. More than thrice a ten rupee note had been taken secretly that too straight from Mrs.K’s purse. It went un noticed till now. Pia gave away her outing with college mates for vada paav or pani batasha. When Mannu assured her that he would get the recharge done and she should not reduce the charm in her life just for him, she would succinctly say that she no more relishes it. That the taste has become boring to her. It wasn’t the truth. Mannu knew that, but he was also sure that she'd never go back to that expense again. She had him as the priority. Further the savings were broken into parts and one of it was for the gift she would give him when they meet for the first time.  A full talk time top up for the third of every month took away a part of the savings too.  

Till today, all they had seen of each other was the 2cm display picture on the ORKUT profile. Talks were all that kept themselves together.

“Hum kab milenge, When we’ll meet?”

Pia’s innocent question left Mannu speechless. When was this virtual relation going to find its real life was known to none? 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 15, 2016)

As he came out of the bathroom, unclean, untidy he did things which were strange for Mrs. K.

“You are taking fifteen minutes to brush your teeth. God knows how you will attend the first lecture every morning.”

“Arey...you don’t worry mummy. This luxury is only till I am at home.”  

Singing a love song in a high voice, caressing his hairs, adoring himself in front of a mirror, he went on to the balcony to fetch the towel. It was surprising for Mrs. K. She stared him with a question, tension and confusion on her lips.

“Kiska phone tha, Whose call was it?”

“Phone? What Phone? Oh...The one yesterday night. It was from a friend I met in a poetry competition. He was asking me for the book of Faiz. He lives in Alambagh near the pacific mall. Hmmm...Uhhh...I said I can’t give you that and now when I am not coming to school how you would return it...” and Mrs. K interrupted, fed up by his defiant reply.  Her eyes has caught the thief in him.

“I got it. I got it. Now go and bath soon. I have made utappam for breakfast. Go and please clean your hairs. Wearing a cap to hide them is not a good habit.”

“I don’t understand how you can be so charming, happy...Guddi” Mrs. K spoke asking her to mop the space underneath the study table and continued”even after this academic performance.” 

The loud song on Mannu’s lips dimmed her words and he walked to the bathroom, carefree. Utappam was cherished by one hand and one hand was occupied by the mobile. The message read, 

"Net pack expired. Can't come online. Maybe for a few daz!!!Will keep touch thru phone whenever Mum goes out. If u have some savings get my recharge done...msg card of 11 rupees.Tc.njoy utappam..waiting 2 C U @ 9 sooon."

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 12, 2016)

After the irresistible night beak, the flow of love continued as Mannu opened his eyes. The end of school had made him lazy and the time to wake up had become much more flexible, usually upto 8 which was extended, snooze after snooze, till 8 30. Mrs. K did not disturb Mannu’s sleep. The first thing that he watched now was the screen of his phone. It had replaced the Thank you prayer.

A short message to wake him up and a second one, just with the words ‘I LOVE YOU’ gave Mannu a perfect adolescent start for the day. He rolled on the bed, side to side, unwrapped himself from the sheets for minutes in a joyful imagination of Pia’s bedroom, little and pink; her loose off shoulder tee shirt from which shone her yellowy gleaming skin and how graciously she’d be sipping coffee near the bedside window while messaging him. It continued until Guddi came up and switched off the fan. The titillation by the sweat beads on his forehead brought him out from the virtual world, back to Lucknow.  He had been deficient with the grade of college he was allotted for graduation, but life poured in a completely new wave of hope; everlasting, unbound. In a joyful remembrance of the dreams Mannu woke up and went to the bathroom, hiding his phone in the shorts. He had purchased one,  just for the sake of a pocket it had. It made his thighs sweat at night and he had to roll out of the sheet at times, still Mannu preferred to put it on. The pocket in it helped avoid Mrs. K’s eye on the whereabouts of the mobile phone. Love was making him different.

He called Pia from the bathroom, turning on the tap to avoid audibility of his talks. The conversation was in whispers, hisses but Mannu wanted to take no chance. Getting heard by Mrs. K or Guddi meant a complete end. He checked the lock on door twice and dialed her number. Her faint, kiddish laughs were heard. Mannu was weak at expressing himself and the condition for the first call was that ‘I LOVE YOU Pia’ had to be the words, not a hello or hi. Her laughs made him sweat more. He breathed deep. Sleep was all gone. She started laughing. The strong mobile network quickly brought her kisses to him.

“My darling wants to say something?”She spoke amid her giggles from the other side of the phone.

“Pia...”Mannu just came out with her name.  

“Ok...Say after me...I...”Pia spoke.

“I...”spoke Mannu.

“Love...”She continued.

“Love...”Mannu said, turning the knob of the tap clockwise.

“You...”Pia completed.

“You...I love you Pia...”He spoke up finally. It was a good feeling. It felt pearls had been exchanged and now the day can go on. Pia had set this rule to bring Mannu completely out of sleep in minutes. And it really worked. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 9, 2016)

Two warm months had passed. The results of the engineering exams had been out and Mannu was to leave for his graduation studies very soon. In talks with Mrs. K he sounded unsure whether he would be able to carry himself or not.

Would the new real world give me some good buddies like the old ones? He kept on asking God in his prayers.  

 Sitting calmly near the window of his room, he pitied the empty playground. All the kids had almost grown up, suddenly got busy with books. The open field too, silently watched the opera of Mannu’s life. The non playful days, only one or two in a month were going to be replaced by the playful ones. This was the first change evident and visible, even to his myopic eyes.  

‘Oooh...Oooh...Sweet Child O’ Mine...’ For the past hour this song had hammered Mannu’s head. The confusion was giving birth to a pile of tension and he needed to talk to Pia, but ‘insufficient balance’ mostly acted as a vaccine against his happiness and calmness.

“Mannu...Come down beta. Have something to eat.”Mrs. K’s voice, dull by the upcoming events, called Mannu.  With a heavy heart and an empty mind he reached the dining and fresh aroma of delicacies entered his nostrils. Ultimately, a smile rested on his frowned face.

“Where were you?” She questioned, with her hands busy in serving the pakora’s and chutney.

“Uh, I was... uh, not far.” Replied Mannu, scratching his forehead.

“Don’t you know?” She spoke, looking at the calendar.

“What?”

“That you’ll be leaving for your college in a week?” She continued.

“I know, Mum.” replied Mannu with a deep sigh.

“Then please stay with us for longer. Stop wandering about just for a week. After that I won’t be there to stop you.” She said, looking straight into Mannu’s eyes.

She had a pain in her heart, more intense than Mannu could perceive. She shared it with him, partly, , cried too, but he kept silent. Speaking about his fears, anxieties would weaken them more. Silence was the best form of aspirin, but all bonds of courage and silence broke before Pia. He shared everything to her. The two month old love had given him new strength, enough to accept and face the inexorable realities of the real world.

“I love you Pia... I love you Pia.” He said to her, probably to himself.

After the snack retreat Mannu sat in his room, holding the guitar. ‘Oooh...Oooh...Sweet Child O’ Mine...’ It still continued. The room was empty. Channu was busy with the phone. It was the first time Mannu saw him doing so. Mrs. K was busy cleaning the tables and Mannu was searching for something to kill my emptiness. The room reminded him of childhood memories. He developed a strange fascination for everything that lay. The unoccupied side of the double bed whispered a truth in his ears. It was time to change the room partner! The mischievous talks with Channu, quarrels, one on one fight, gun fights, pillow fights, GI Joe fights were some reminiscences that had their marks on these walls. Those old crazy days were gone, not be found again in any corner. Mannu thanked Channu by kissing his portrait. Truly, the world is so small and our lives so big.

The square shaped clock showed 10.30 pm. It was the new time to sleep. They three were to sleep in Mrs. K’s bedroom. Mrs. K was unwilling to leave him alone for the whole night. Pia had sacrificed her desire of talking to Mannu at nights. Thoughts were but passed through messages. Channu had a question that could be seen in his eyes, but he never asked, so Mannu never answered.

Channu had started showing love and care. They shared the same pillow and the whole night Mannu used to tell him Buddha stories and tales from Zen books, one he liked the most,

“The moon may be appearing half or full, yet it is a complete moon. If it is not dark to begin with, why wait for it to brighten?”

 He was badly annoyed by the phone light, which glowed with every new message from Pia and forced him to close his eyes. So, Mannu didn’t dare to tell him about Pia. They had conversations on the ways Channu would support Mrs. K, take care of every homely matter, including his studies. He pinched Mannu on the point he liked.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 6, 2016)

The night had grown old and the moon made a faded appearance outside the window. They both were in love with that night. They prayed together, thanked God for the 9 pm of everyday, talked, sang songs, laughed and kissed.  Yes! The love grew deeper, minute by minute, kiss by kiss. The confusion gave way to oneness and Mannu was in love with her from head to foot, her eyes, her ears, her nails, her voice, her skin, her fingers, her fragrance so imagined and even the colour of her iris. They were to celebrate the 3^rd of every month as the day of love, the day of Mannu and Pia. The first thing to be updated the next morning was the relationship status on ORKUT. Backspace ‘Single’ and ink space ‘Committed’! The ORKUT account had sparked their lives. No one dare to reach the end of the night, but time had its flow.

Mannu opened his eyes abruptly. The call had ended. Yes it had as Mannu’s cell account balance halted at zero after a beep, heard several times before. She called from her mother’s phone just to end the call softly. Her phone account too ran out of balance. The clock showed 5 am and the dim morning light entered Mannu’s bedroom. Meanwhile, it was the time for Pia’s grandmother to wake up and Pia had to consent on her words that she had had a very pleasant sleep. Their talks started and Pia was bereft of any sleep that night. A message from Pia popped up and it became the day starte for Mannu.  There was something else that rather surprised him. In all the hustle of the day he forgot about the dark change that unfolded around. The PC stood still. The study table as usual was messed up. Between the sounds of the tick of the clock, the fluttering of the calendar proved that it existed. It stole the look of Mannu’s eyes as if something new happened. Every rotation of the fan took a part of him away to a place where he was all alone.  Drowned in the depth of the ocean of his thoughts, he realised it was the time to leave home. Wiping the nostalgic commodity off his eyes he saw everything for one last time. A smile popped up as the last words escaped his lips. Alvida Avadh, goodbye Avadh. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 5, 2016)

In few minutes their talks had evolved. Subjects had changed. They talked about the future, the turns their love would take and the gifts that it will bring along. All seemed a distant dream for a moment and then it seemed as if all was going to happen bit by bit, step by step, kiss by kiss.. She giggled, felt silent for a while until she came out with some words.

“Chup raho na, just keep quiet.” Mannu knew they were spoken in an ostentatious state.

“Can I ask you something, Pia?”  

“I know what you’ll...” She whispered.

“What? Hello... hello...” Mannu spoke up, puffing his lungs with more air.

“I know what you’ll ask.” She said again. 

“Really! I don’t believe this...” Mannu said, passing his first kiss.

Silence.

“Speak up Pia... I can kiss you... now you’re all mine.”

“Anushka deleted that message and all those messages were from her side. Believe me...” Pia came out with the right words. It was the pressing question that Mannu had kept subsided within him up to now.

Mannu passed a kiss again. He didn’t ask her how she knew it. The moment itself was the answer.   She kissed back and it continued for a long while. Oh... they never wanted to see the sun again. She took his name in longing, he took hers. She needed his touch, she needed closeness. But what could  be done virtually? Nothing! And she started sobbing.

“Don’t cry. We’ll be near darling... Hmmm.”

“Are we doing it right? Can we call it love?” She questioned amidst her sobbing, which had now became much more audible.

“Pia... Pia... Pia... calm down... listen to me...” Mannu paused deliberately to think of the right words to keep her calm. “Listen to me...” He continued.

“Hmmm...” Somehow, she managed to speak.

“You know what...”

“Hmmm...” She spoke.

“I’ve heard in songs... blind love is true.” He said to reconcile her, rubbing the palm over his stomach in perplexity.  

“Come on wipe your tears. Tell me one thing. Since when do you love me?”asked Mannu, in a tone loud enough to keep things safe.

“Tumko nahi pata kya, don’t you know that?” She spoke delicately.