C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 30, 2016)

“Hey Pia...Where are you???I am at the station now. Where are you??? Tell me please...”Mannu spoke, further chewing the half chewed food piece in his mouth.

“I’m out of home to get a recharge coupon...Come within 5 minutes on the same street.”Pia said in a choked voice. Love had taught him to really feel what she felt. From her insecure and broken voice Mannu could sense how much tears she had shed since morning.

“Ok..Ok love...I’m coming...You just be there...I’m coming.”And he ran hurriedly.

“Hmmm...”She said and without her saying he knew she was crying.

Leaving the food plate behind, Mannu ran away towards the auto-rickshaw with the same hope to see her, this time for sure. What a strange day it was. Every time, he was trying to be near her and every time another strange thing took him away. Mannu was sure that to reach her in 5 minutes he needed a supersonic, but all that was available was a three wheeler. What next? The race to see her began again. The watch showed 3 pm when he reached there. He was 15 minutes late and unluckily a jeep from the other side just blocked not only the street, but every hope.

No. Now he was sure that nothing could happen. He closed my eyes to escape the moment. The ditches on the road bounced Mannu back and front, but he was silent.

“kahan chalna hai sahib?” The auto driver questioned Mannu. He was in angst as he had denied entry into the lane, but Mannu insisted. He was murmuring something to himself.

“Turn back to the railway station.”

“Pachaas rupee aur lagega.”

“Hmmm...turn back.”

It was 03:15pm when his cell phones’ cells came alive again. 1 New message from Pia.

“I dnt know what 2 say...I no i wuz wrong...I could do nothing 4 our love...4give me...but u no Mannu I saw u 4 a second...U were wearing a white shirt n dat blue cap on ur head was really a classy one...”

Mannu’s eyes widened and a smile came on his lips, battling every hard feeling. Mannu had never told her about his looks and it was sure that from somewhere she had seen him and somewhere she really existed where today Mannu was unable to go. He read the message again and again. It gave him a feeling that she really was a reality, not fiction. It was the time he was sitting silent in the auto that she had seen him. Mannu exhaled and thanked God. He looked at the skies above.

“The world was new and the pain just flew, for I just knew, we still belonged to me and you.” Mannu replied.

 “I love you Mannu...I am so lucky 2 hav u as my love...I am sure no one, NO ONE could have done this to c me 4 a second...I am all yours...my heart beats 4 u n believe me my eyes always cry 4 u...I feel m d luckiest on d earth for u belong 2 me...”

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 29, 2016)

 “I can’t cm on d window...I wl cm out in d balcony but my mom is still out dere...plz wait 4 me...I’ll try 2 c u asap.”

Pia’s message read. She was in contact with Mannu since morning, but the reason for her absence was still a mystery. But it was enough for Mannu to read a message from her.  Again the devil within him over powered his conscious. Was coming out such a big issue? Isn’t she lying again? But he kept patient and waited more and more. Till now the look into the eyes of the shopkeepers had changed and even a gang of boys had gathered around a cigarette shop which was steps away. Anything could have happened anytime.

The watch showed 14:00hrs. No. Now it showed 14:30 hrs. There was no response from Pia since an hour. Again Mannu’s mind started living with the bad old feeling.

“Is there really a girl named Pia or someone has cheated me?”

“I don’t think i’d b able 2 cm darling..Mum n grand ma are at the gates of the balcony...u dnt w8 nw...u leave 4 home...I am such a bad girl...4give me plzzz. I could do nothing 4 our love but i still love you..Plzzz 4give me if your heart says...”

 Pia’s message again melted the thick wax of doubt from his head. How come things over the phone seemed so real, so usual.

“Don’t say all dis. jus cm once Pia...I can stay no longer than half an hour.Plz cm m w8in 4 u...i won’t go if i don’t c u...”

Mannu replied, wondering that if she can love him so much through the phone then why she doesn’t come in front of him. Sweat balls had again taken a hybrid form. The time had won the race again and the watch showed 02:45pm.

“From the past three hours Pia couldn’t find a single second to see me?”

Mannu didn’t want to do so, but he started hating Pia for all this that happened today, again,  as he moved ahead to catch the auto.

“Yesterday the coach number changed randomly and today she didn’t even have a single second to escape the eyes of her family members and come to see me.”

Talking to himself he walked on the road to separation.

“I love you no more Pia...You have hurt me a lot today...”He said aloud. Tears were rolling down his eyes. The boys in the lane felt a sigh of relief as Mannu walked out.

A thali cost him eighty rupees and trying to keep his mind empty and eyes dry Mannu took the first meal of the day. He was back at the railway station to board the train to Lucknow. The announcement said that it was fifteen minutes late.  Pia still apologised in messages, but he didn’t   reply. For all the lies he had said to his parents and the whole world around him, all he got was nothing. Nitesh and Vivi’s messages also kept on popping. He didn’t reply to them either.  It seemed as if Mannu and Pia’s selfless love for each other had turned to a one sided romance. Oh God! When was all this going to end? The colourful festival of light seemed so black without her. Every thought of celebration had gone miles away.

“Where are you Pia and why are you doing all this to me?”The same thoughts kept on wandering as he gulped the tasteless food items. The phone rang and to his surprise it was no one else, but Pia.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 28, 2016)

“Ok bye mummy...dhyan rakhiyega.”Courageously, Mannu spoke and tears rolled down his eyes as that heavy feeling of deceiving his mother just came alive.

At eleven he was ready with my baggage to leave for home. The train was scheduled to depart at 15:30hrs.

“What shall I do?”He asked himself, looking into a mirror. There was only one more way of seeing Pia, to go and stand in front of the gates of her house. Yes! Nothing else could end this all. Getting caught was a very big risk, little for him, but more for Pia. 

At twelve noon Mannu was in front of the gates of her house. It was her ancestral house built around 1960’s. The street was not broad enough to let cross a four wheeler and a two wheeler. The street dividers with all sorts of flowers and plants that we see in the centre of every big city could be considered as highways if one stood here and thought of the world around. This street in itself was a strange new world. On the left and on the right were stores of statue makers of the city and the white marble dust that left the statues further cleared the colour of his white shirt. A stream of white water flowed on the side ends of the street. Everyone around was staring him with an alien look. A murmur had started among the shopkeepers. A look into their eyes was fatal. They were beaming with doubt. Cycle rickshaws thronged the lane up and down, loading and unloading the marble statues. Members of a society, wearing kurta pyjama passed through the lane to give a final check to the decoration. All were eyeing Mannu with suspicion. Only a word from him and they would have loaded him with questions. Mannu chose to remain silent.  

Statues of Sai baba, Lord Krishna were being carved and he bowed to pray to see Pia soon.

 “I love you Pia...I’m sorry 4 all the bad I thought 4 u...Dis is really an unusual place....plz plz don’t cm out...Just cm on ur window so that I can c u once.”

Mannu sent this message using all the 185 characters of the text page. But where was she? Mannu couldn’t see her on the window. He was more than surprised when he saw his watch. It was 1 pm.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 27, 2016)

“I don’t want to go places with her, I don’t want to even touch her...I just want to see her once...”He prayed, sitting devastated on a bench. But the world around him was the same. People waited for their loved ones, met them after minutes, boarded taxis. It didn’t matter to anyone that this young boy had lost so much.

There was no other way to go except going back to that hotel. The room he had left was still vacant and unclean. It seemed as if this big change had taken only seconds to change whole life of Mannu. He occupied it again and lay down just to cry. The golden glow of the sunlight evanesced to pave way for the silvery moon. He still couldn’t believe that why Pia had done so?Coming out with no answer he called Anushka.

“Hii Anushka...It’s me Mannu...”

“Hii...how’s you??Did you see Pia??”

“No...She told me the coach was numbered 12. I didn’t see it anywhere...”Mannu talked, looking up above the dark skies.

“Yaaa...She told me that in the half way it changed to coach number 5.”Anushka replied in a disinterested way.

“What? How could it be? And why didn’t she tell me...??”Mannu asked, anxious to get all his answers.

“Her mummy had the cell phone...”She replied hastily.

“But why didn’t you tell me?”Mannu asked Anushka. The level of heat in his blood was soaring.

“I never want Pia to meet or even talk to a boy like you. Did you get it Mr. Mannu??”Anushka said, again in a voice that killed her sobriety. Mannu sighed, closed his eyes and cried.

“Can she tal...”He choked.

“Can she talk to me now?”Mannu asked her.

“No...She has her complete family around her...How silly you are...”Anuskha replied being as blunt as a girl could be. The lover within Mannu patiently listened to every word of insult.

“Ok...thanx..Good night...”Mannu spoke and he heard a beep tone without a reply.

His pain was bigger than the happiness of the whole city. It was 10:00 at night and all he had eaten was a couple of aspirins to kill the headache. The room had been vacated. Night had to be passed at a safe hideout. The bigger fear was to lose the luggage. In a tormented state of mind he again took a room in the same hotel.  They charged him double. He paid without a thought.   After this insulting talk with Anushka it was clear that Pia was nowhere to be blamed for all that happened. Mannu could now sense the heaviness Pia’s heart was bearing and that too all alone. They were separated it seemed by miles. Mannu was nowhere to love her, calm her down, even thought the phone. They were like strangers in the same city.

It was the next morning. The watch showed 10:00am. Mannu was wide awake, but he didn’t want to open his swollen eyes. The eyeballs had turned red and the sunlight that entered the room from the broken window created an itching in them. His heart was heavy and so was his breath. He was all alone till the phone beeped. Mannu quickly disguised his voice, his feelings and picked it up.

“Hello mummy...”

“Hello beta,How are you and when are you coming home??”

“Tomorrow...The train will leave today at 15:30hrs...”Mannu replied removing the receiver of the phone that lay besides the bed.

“Ok...we all are waiting for you...”

“I know...I miss you all too...”He replied, killing every feeling that blocked his voice. Suddenly, the door bell rang. It was the room service.

“What’s that bell Mannu?”Mrs. K questioned straight away.

“No...Nothing mummy...We’re just watching a movie...nothing else...”said Mannu laying flat on the bed and while saying this lie, all the symptoms of drowsiness vanished and he quickly got up.

“Ok bye...Come home soon and be safe...”

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August, 26, 2016)

“Pia...now you can write down how much you love me, how much you miss me...”He said to himself keeping the bill safe in his wallet.

The railway announcement for the train from Mumbai to Jaipur was clearly audible on the chair Mannu had occupied to sip coffee. Anxiety was at its peak. Doubt was making inroads. She had not called since the past two days.  After many acts and words of jugaad, under a special quota Pia and her family had finally got a confirm seat in the last bogie. This was the last information she had shared.  The every second increasing passenger waiting list had dropped them in coach 12. Wiping the sweat on my forehead and on his palms he reached out towards the platform at 13:00hrs. The train was to arrive after five minutes approximately. Before and after every step Mannu was licking his lips to stop them from being dry and parched . The red digital display boxes above his head showed the position of coach 4...7 and 8, on he moved up to coach number 9.

Wait! Where was coach 12?

 Mannu wiped his eyes and saw again. Yes! It was coach number 9, the last coach. His breath stopped for that moment. Being patient enough he ran towards the other end to search for the vision that would bring his breath back.

No...There was no coach 12 even there. What was going around?  Sweat was rolling like a river from his head toe. Pia had told him it was coach number 12. She repeatedly said that it was confirm.  He was sure that his memory wasn’t so blunt so as to forget the coach number within two days. Berserk Mannu asked the coolies, the passengers and there was no one who did point his finger in the direction of coach number 12. At last he called Pia again and again and all he heard was a beep.

“She would be with her parents at the doors of the train. How can she receive your call Mannu?”

He talked again to himself for comfort. Or was it deception? He couldn’t sense why was all this happening? The train arrived at its scheduled time. Mannu with a suitcase in one hand, a backpack, stood on the tip of his feet at the first exit gate to search for Pia. After a few seconds he ran to the second gate. Did it again for the third time, but he couldn’t recognize any face he saw. The girl for whose love he lied to the whole world had just escaped his eyes. He knew, so did Pia, that this chance to see each other would never come again so soon. How could she miss it? Everyone was in hurry and the emotion which had drowned hi for so long was also leaving by inches. The real world had again showered its real face.  Every second was breaking him down. Without wasting a second he ran to the auto stand, hitting himself against a briefcase of the man ahead, but he didn’t stop. Tears in his eyes had blurred the vision and every sight around him. The watch showed 13:20hrs. The empty auto-rickshaws and the strange faces drowned the man of hope within Mannu into the ocean of futility. Every planning and preparation had gone into vain. That one moment of love had gone far away. Finally, Pia had left. Mannu was on his knees craving to God to send him back in time. Tears had wetted the shirt collar and wiping them again and again had changed the colour of the sleeves near the shoulders. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 25, 2016)

But God had done all the magic. Now he couldn’t take a step back. Neither Mannu nor Pia had ever thought that one day their story would turn up with a sudden meeting like this. They had become accustomed to sharing their emotions on phone. Meeting each other seemed completely strange just out of the blue. They didn’t wait for this to happen. A call was waited more!  Mannu’s heart beat was struggling to reach near seventy five as he took the shower. All throughout the morning he practiced songs that he would sing for Pia. One side of his head was afraid for missing lines. This thought shuddered him.  Oh God! He needed courage. Gazing outside the window he saw a distant cloud. As if it said still some cold difference existed between Mannu and Pia.  Mannu covered himself with the thick towel, wet and lost. He increased the volume of the Guns ‘n’ Roses song that played on his mobile. It filled him with hope. The happiest thought that in a few hours Mannu and Pia were going to see each other for the first time after the five months long love brought a decent smile on his face.

So, finally the perfumed day had arrived. Without a pinch of doubt, he was living it. He paid eight hundred rupees at the reception for the stay which included rupees 100 extra for their favour to hide his identity. Savings had really saved him.

Whooa aaa!!! Bags packed and he left to see the love of his life.

The glittering golden and silver decorated streets and shops had further pinked the beauty of the pink city.  Every man had a smile on his face and Jaipur was decorated more beautifully than Ayodhya to welcome the home coming of Sri Rama, to celebrate the festival of Diwali. On his way to the railway station, where Mannu and Pia were going to see each other he wondered how beautiful she would be looking; tired by the overnight journey, locks flying away east and west, half of them hiding behind her two little ears. Even after all this Mannu knew that she would be smiling. He stopped in front of every piece of reflector that came his way just to check whether he would be able to compliment her beauty.

  A gift from our loved ones really helps us to bring alive some past moments of happiness. He put the diary and a rose in front pockets of the bag. She liked roses.  It was still unknown how he would hand them to her. The journey to the station gave him the feeling that he was alive and he should be happy. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 24, 2016)

The day had been silent. Nitesh called up to inform that he had safely reached home. Pia had not called form the past two days. She had only told Mannu that it was confirm she was coming with her family. Plans had been made, but Mannu was expecting a warm phone call from her to ask about his whereabouts. It didn’t happen. Mannu consoled him hour after hour. She had strictly requested him not to call her. Mannu had agreed happily that time, but it was worrying him now. Things were looking unclear to him. The fear from within made him wonder about the worst possibilities. The beauty of wait was being killed as Mannu waited to talk to Pia. Since lunch Mannu was surviving on eggs and loaf of bread.

“Pia would never be happy seeing me like this.” He talked to himself sipping tea on the rooftop.

“But is she really concerned at all?” Second thoughts dominated his psyche.

 All this and that that Mannu was doing from the past three days was just to see her, once. Pia with her family was coming to Jaipur for the celebration of Diwali. The city was lit as far as Mannu could see.  His young mind had futured that this was one golden chance for them to see each other. The risk had to be taken. He tried to defeat the inner voice that cursed him for lying to his parents.   From the past two days he was hiding from the whole world just to see her. The day went in reading a novel from Sidney Sheldon. TV seemed un interesting. He could not focus and time usually went in skipping channels. As he woke up at three or four in the morning he would find the TV switched on, the lights turned on and the window panes open. As if it was a normal hour, he put things back to normal, read a page or two and slept again. It was more like an extended dose of drowsiness. Sleep had escaped his eyes as he left the hostel, more so when Nitesh also left him.

“No...You’re not prepared to meet her.”A voice from my within said aloud to him. The day of meeting had finally come. The train was to arrive in afternoon. The percentage of sweat drops on his palms and feet was increasing with every tick of the stationary clock. When he had waited so long for this day then why was his heart grabbed with a figment of fear? The jug had also spilled down from the stool and water lay all over the floor. He couldn’t find what to make out of this incident. Was it a bad omen? Or was it just because the cord of the mobile charger tuck with the jug? He had no answer. Also, Pia’s phone was still awaited.  With loud music he tried hard to change his bent of mind, to let calmness overcome anxiety.  Fantasies started to pour in. He wondered what will he say to her, how will he say a hello and how would he look? A bunch of hairs were popping up from the back of his head. Extra amount of hair gel could not make the settlement as required. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 23, 2016)

“This room won’t cost more than two hundred rupees in Delhi.” Mannu was silently watching as the conversation went on. He had a fear inside. The deal, fair or bad, didn’t matter. He was more worried about this secret to remain a secret and that he could safely meet Pia. He lied to his parents that he was still in the hostel, waiting for the announcement of the Diwali holidays. His phone beeped again. It was Mrs. K. He ran upstairs to find a silent corner.

“Not allowed...hello...payment karo pehle.” The receptionist started yelling. Again Nitesh made him calm down, but in a tone much higher than his.

“Hello...Mummy...I’m in class. Will call back soon.”Mannu lied again, felt the guilt come up his neck. But what else he could do. Any doubt could create a big problem in the first year itself. He didn’t want to lose the trust of his family.  The truth was that holidays had started from the past two days. The whole hostel was empty and Mannu was forced to leave the hostel after the wardens had posed a round of check to his room. The warden, a boxer in his young days, had warned Mannu that he or the college management would not be responsible if there is any ragging by the seniors. It meant taht the fresher’s were supposed to go to home, or at least leave the hostel in holidays’. 

After leaving the baggage, comforting Mannu that things would turn out be better than expected, Nitesh left.

“Why was he so worried when you have to stay here?” The receptionist questioned Mannu and without expecting a reply he handed over the room key. Mannu preferred to remain silent.

“Please send someone for water.”Mannu requested, with his bag half hanging from one shoulder. The receptionist pressed a bell. A man is a vest, muddy and torn at places, arrived. Without a verbal exchange the man was conveyed his duty. As he led the stairs to the second floor, Mannu silently walked behind observing other rooms and the structure of the building. It was patchy, spitted on sides and a faint smell surrounded the turns.  The entrance to the room started with a five feet long lobby. A single bed lay in one corner of the room with a TV facing it. The sliding window, with glass panes broken in an irregular fashion from all corners, was an easy way for the sunlight to warm it. Mannu checked the fan, tube lights. The man, named Ali, kept the jug on a table lying on one side of the bed. A jug was also placed on the TV cabinet. It was also filled with water. Ali grinned as he picked it up. The ceiling fan rotated on the same speed even when the regulator fell out of the switch box.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 22, 2016)

“He knew the questions beforehand.”Nitesh repeated, lost in a vague thought. Mannu sat silent. He didn’t want to make a comment.

“Mannu...you have to find it out if you call me a friend.”

“Yes I will...”replid a hesitant Mannu.

“No you have to yaar...My answers were better my performance was better. You saw it.”

“Now it’s done yaar. You know you were better that’s it. Don’t bother too much about being called better.”Shubh and Mannu repeated this phrase to console Nitesh. Their talks went on when after hours Nitesh had a smile on his face. At four in the morning they finally decided that it is time to rest and there are still four years to prove one’s worth.

The mid term examination was near, so was Diwali and Pia’s visit to Jaipur.  A week’s holiday was taken by the fresher’s extended by a bunk and this finally gave some personal time to Mannu to talk to Pia. Talks extended for hours. So was the case with many boys who had found a girl in the campus. Mannu and Pia planned about where they’ll meet, which places they’ll go, how they’ll go? Unable to control her excitement Pia came a out with silence or with love you. The planning did not end there. Other night they discussed what outfits they both will put on and the flavor of ice cream they’ll lick and even the size of the Coke they’ll order. Medium was her say and the quantity was single without any doubt. Mannu just listened to her and silently prayed to God for giving him such a wonderful life silvered by Pia’s innocent love. He sang songs for her, the same which he had performed on the fresher’s night and even more. Some of her choice and some of his favorites. Choices were mostly the same. They slept after a good night, a kiss rather many kisses and a happy thought that they were one more day closer to meet, to see each other.  One strange morning when Mannu wakes up, he gets to know that he would spend four long years in her maternal city. AIEEE could have dropped him in any state, any city, anywhere in this big good country. But he was in  Jaipur. Even though Pia didn’t live there, she visited the city twice or thrice a year. And so was it. They were meeting the next month. What was it, destiny or luck? They both wondered.

From the past 3 days, Mannu was staying in a lodge whose name was painted on the building years back. The plaster was falling out and the name could not be read.  After an exhausting search of 4 hours, this was the cheapest hotel he had found out at rupees three hundred per night and they didn’t demand any identity proof. Check out time was twenty four hours. The location was near a bus stand which was non operational. The receptionist had promised that there would be no issue in terms of electricity supply to the room and the water would be available on demand.  No one, except Nitesh knew about Mannu’s stay. The receptionist had a spat with him when he repeatedly asked about the fare policy.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 20, 2016)

“Ladies and gentlemen, guys and  girls...presenting before you the first solo performance of the day by Mannu. A big round of applause for the young boy...” The announcement was made. Backstage some seniors assisted him in getting on stage and handling him the guitar and a glass of water. Lights flashed and the stage was set for Mannu to show his talent. Waving to the crowd he walked near the mike. The response was not visible in the flash. It came as a jolt to him. Nothing except some blur and loud sound surrounded him.

“Hi everybody...”Mannu spoke. His voice choked. So he spoke again.

“Hi everybody...can you hear me?”He spoke aloud and played a chord. The cheer resonated through his ears. This gave him some confidence.

“I’m here to perform a medley of Bollywood. Just take your seats...hold a drink and feel the music.” Well these words were coming from within. He didn’t know what he was saying. He was a different personality, but confident than usual. And he began his performance after a sound check with chords and a solo of Slash. Beginning with Aadat from the band jal, he picked upon a self composed song teri yaad  and ended with a hindi version of bob Dylan’s Blowing in the Wind. Twice he missed the chords, but it didn’t go so loud. He choked, but amusingly he managed himself later. What next? He had set the mood for the party. Claps and claps were heard all around. Raising his guitar high and straight he waved a hello and jumped from the front. It was a bave act as the senior faculty and the guests were sitting just in front. He immediately bowed down, offered a salaam and the old, wrinkled faces were covered with a smile. Mannu had become famous in four minutes. Backstage several girls came in to know his name and branch. Shubh stood beside him. A few seniors also congratulated him for his talent and assured him that if he has any problem he may approach them directly. This performance came as a boon as a 4^th year senior came along and announced backstage that Mannu be spared of any file making from that evening itself. A girl leaned upon him in pretence of slipping due to high heels. Gargi also came to ask him about her performance. What was happening? The night would be so gifted was unexpected. The nervousness was laid to rest with the coffee. Shivering had given way to firm shake hands and Mannu was able to enjoy the performances from that moment. As was predicted Gargi won the Ms. Fresher award. Nitesh lost. Shubh had performed a mimicry act and he was called for a special chat with the folk artist. It seemed a new phase of life would begin again. Back to the rooms, exhausted, Mannu could find no space to sleep as vipul was being congratulated by the seniors. Drinks were served in room 510 and he was the hero of the hostels and among the seniors. Mannu was only spared of the file work. Nitesh, upset with the results, had locked the room. After several warnings and knocking he finally opened it up for Mannu and Shubh.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (august 9, 2016)

The stage was set. Music was loud. One had to be very close to let the other listen. Boys made good use of it. Girls too didn’t leave the opportunity. All over the place people were talking with their necks half bent towards other’s ear. Soft kisses came easy. The fresher party had begun. Group photographs were being taken. The walk to the ground had to be done in stops. The fragrance of perfumes mixed together made the evening pleasant, romantic and naughty. Greetings were exchanged through shake hands, hugs and soft kisses. Stalls were full of customers. It seemed the play ground was a completely different place. There was no restriction. The show started on time. Some seniors were caught on the gates and had been fined for being drunk. It created some embarrassment for the organizing committee, but the students didn’t mind it as the chief guest, a folk artist of Rajasthan, had not yet arrived. The matter was put to end soon.

And the show started with a usual Ganesh vandana., followed by a sufi concert. There was loud hooting from the back seats and the air was full of energy and groove. The senior faculty, including the Director were on their feet after the performance. The members of the organizing committee were praising each other, exchanging high fives and their faculty coordinator had promised them a retreat in the coming week. The talent round for Mr. And Ms. Fresher began. Hooting was as loud as it could be. Gargi and Vipul were cheered like no other. Mannnu was informed that his performance was to come after the final round. Nervousness over topped him and he found a seat backstage with his guitar to give a final touch to his preparation. The swing of the hoot made him anxious. Expectations were high and so was the blame. A senior came near him, wished him luck, shook hands, asked his name, room number and left. He was totally confused, the focus was lost and the hooting made it difficult to regain it. Nitesh was on stage with Vipul. It was the question-answer round, also the last for the competition.  Nitesh was looking dynamic in appearance and so was Vipul. Questions came one after another and the answers had to follow within ten seconds. There was silence, still one corner preferred to be noisy when Nitesh spoke. They were supporters of Vipul. Mannu and others from hostel number 2 did the same when Vipul spoke. Both were competitive. Their replies were equally good. In the girls round Gargi cleared seemed the winner as Neha had done many mistakes. Mistakes which were visible! Gargi was flamboyant in appearance, swift in tackling the questions. To a question about her vision for the College Neha gave a bookish reply which went un noticed. Gargi replied that the new batch was the vision. It was respected, applauded and the result was fairly evident.

The rounds completed and Mannu’s name was announced. Sweat as usual rolled his forehead. His fingers and palms were shaking. Nervousness crept in. If he missed a chord he knew that criticism would be carried for the next minute and till the end of the performance. He gulped some lukewarm water, washed his face hurriedly, sat on his palms for a few seconds to control the shivering, but it was uncontrollable. What had to go was now a matter of time and chance. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 8, 2016)

“Phool...Phool..5 rupee ka rose hai..bas 5 rupee ka...” he repeated as he went on to the seats where a boy and a girl sat together. Their eyes were fixed upon the beauty of the roses, but purchasing it was a farfetched option . Hearts had not grown fond enough to exchange roses. The titillation, shyness and the rush of blood was clearly visible in their eyes. Some were ashamed on the prospect of considering a love relation with the seat mate. They rudely threw a NO to the seller. Mannu was smiling. He felt it easy to be saved from this moment of expression. Inside he became nervous when he imagined Pia in front and a rose in his hand. The bus moved with a jerk and that brought him back to reality. 

The city was warm, but colourful. The hotels that passed through were designed as palaces. Even the names were palatial. The streets were broader compared to Lucknow and much better organized. The street side market was restricted to some areas. Only food stalls took the space during rush hours. The bus crossed Jal Mahal. Mannu was in dreams. He started imagining a walk with Pia with a coffee in their hands. The lake had got some water and the hovering mountain had given birth to some greenery. The beauty of the monument offered romance.

Soon the bus reached the city area as was visible by rows of pink painted shops. Truly is the name pink city! The markets were divided and named accordingly. After passing through several traffic jams and waiting for the cows, after every few metres, to stand and find space away from the driving lane, the bus halted at chaura rasta. There were temples and food shops all around. Aroma of incense sticks filled the minds of the walkers. Mannu felt an essence of Pia on the streets. They seemed familiar to him.

“On the left you can buy stationary and on the right there are clothing shops. Boys have to get a hair cut also. Find some decent barber.” Came the voice of the senior. For the time being the first year were left alone. He went on with Gargi. No other girl was allowed.

“Phew...Such a confusing place. Where has he brought us?”Nitesh spoke to the group.

“Let’s keep walking. First let’s have something to eat.”replied Shubh and they found a stall of pav bhaji. It was delicious. Three girls also accompanied them and the round of introduction continued while relishing the dish. Shubh took the lead and they all went to a handloom store. The size and the price were clearly mentioned on all the clothes, price being the major factor for consideration. The girls went upstairs for the purchase. Shubh accompanied them. He was making the best use of the opportunity. The products were on discount and a bulk purchase came soft on the pockets. Mannu had paid a few hundred for Nitesh. He paid for a kulfi. Nearby, the grooming of the boys was also done. There too they got a group discount added upon a student discount. The shopping was done and all were asked to wait in the bus. Gargi came with the senior. She had several bags of famed brands in her hand. The other girls were looking at theirs and pretending not to be jealous. While waiting for others to get groomed Mannu had purchased a handmade diary for Pia. She had given the news to Mannu that her family was palnning to visit the city next month to celebrate Diwali. Mannu was very anxious about the trip but he had to absorb the happiness within himself. There had not been any talk between them to discuss about the trip. The new life and its rustle had absorbed Mannu’s conscience. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 7, 2016)

A week passed and yet again it was clear that Mannu was unable to devote more time either to talk at home or to Pia. He was in a helpless situation and her mother and Pia understood that pretty well. Mannu messages were mostly filled with ‘sorry’ or ‘please’ and his talks were mostly confined at asking some other time to call up at home. A Saturday was decided for the fresher party. The dress code was notified in the hostels and the common room. It read,

Boys-White shirt, Red pocket square, Ash colour waist coat and plated trouser.

Girls-Red Saree with Black brocade. 

Wasn’t this sort of notification bound to create a ruckus in the hostels? Surely it was! Except those from affluent families no one had this particular combination ready to wear. The seniors were requested to rent theirs but as a tradition it was to be handed only after the fresher party. Till the Saturday night, getting so informal in relation was not seen rich enough for the hierarchy. As a favor the college buses were made to pick and drop the young shopper’s to and from the market place.

It was but exciting as it was the first trip to the Jaipur city. The buses were again commanded by a senior who informed Mannu and others that after fresher’s things would change, that the seniors would be like elder brothers to the boys. He didn’t mention his relationship with the girls. Gargi sat next to him. The head of the organizing committee had ensured that she finds a comfortable place in the bus. The senior was sent as an escort to her and the other juniors.

“What’s there in a day? Why can’t we be like brothers from now on? ”A guy, thin and lean with a very fair complexion asked the senior. The senior smiled and asked the fair boy to repeat the question. And he asked him to do so several times until he pleaded for an apology. The question went unanswered. All the heads and minds those was directed towards the conversation turned abruptly and busied themselves with the outside view.  Mannu opened the window panes to feel the free wind. It was the same route, surrounded by mountains. Some un timed rains had led to the growth of distant green patches on the rocky Aravallis. Again they crossed the Amber palace. It was crowded as usual and this led to a jam. The flower seller came inside the bus to make a sale.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 6, 2016)

Mannu’s lectures took pace for a while and again there was lull as and when the date of the Fresher Party was announced. The lecturers started giving tips on the importance of maintaining decorum that night and motivated the students to bring out the best within them. The Head Of Department was called for a special lecture. After the class was over Mr. Neeraj who taught Mathematics glorified her lecture. He considered the class lucky that the HoD had visited them and moreover asked their names one by one. 

“What a lucky batch...”He said and left.

And in full swing the preparation for the fresher party began. The fresher’s itself were made to do the decoration, paint the walls with graffiti and make invitations. This really brought out the best within them! The toil was doubled. Attending the lectures and after the college hours the first year were to decorate the campus! It was exciting as the girls were also involved. Refreshments were served from time to time and there was no stop on interaction. Not even on one to one interaction of a boy and a girl. Here too the seniors tried to take space. In the disguise of introduction they spent hours with the girls and the first year boys after a long wait made way back to the decoration. One had to be really quick to grab the opportunity. Mannu was feeling composed because he did not consider himself as a party in the race. He felt that commitment to Pia gave him a sense of satisfaction and calmness. 

The hunt for Mr., Ms. Fresher had started. Even before the auditions, the final names seemed very likely. Gargi, a girl from Himachal, had become close to a senior from Mechanical Branch. He was the head of the organizing committee. The say in the campus was that she had already won the contest. In the mess and the hostels, boys were busy criticizing the seniors for their monopoly. The criticism was not directed on the tentative outcome of the contest, the boys would be glad if she won, but they were disheartened because their chance to approach Gargi was nullified. 

 Among the boys Vipul had registered his name for the contest. Mannu was willing to contest it too, but the organizing committee permitted only one event per person. He preferred to register in a solo guitar performance. Nitesh was a contestant for Mr. Fresher. This closeness of Mannu and Nitesh had lead to a recent turf between Vipul and Mannu. Vipul was feeling uneasy about Nitesh’s frequent visits to room 510. He feared that Mannu would reveal minutes of his performance to Nitesh. Vipul didn’t talk much directly, but got the message conveyed through a senior. It came like a warning to Mannu. Courageously, Mannu ignored it. Meanwhile Nitesh had given a good list of songs that Mannu could play on the night. He had asked the girls of his branch and they had asked others about their choice and finally a pop song medley was decided. A guitar was arranged. Room number 510 became a hotspot after dinner. The medley was forcefully side lined and Mannu had to attend requests from the boys. The favourites were songs from the band Jal, Band of boys. Rock was not so popular, but Mannu inserted a melody in between to give the boys a taste of rock. The lights were closed usually after three and the morning started by eight. Mannu had promised Pia to e-mail her a recording, but he couldn’t find time, sometimes a vacant seat, to access the net lab. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 5, 2016)

With exception of a few all the hostellers were now buddies.  The corridors and the rooms were always filled with howling and growling of the young, restless boys. To attend Pia’s call Mannu had to sit in the bathroom. Calls from home were attended only for a short duration, just to inform Mrs. K that the meals were taken on time, that he had woke up on time and he was bathing daily.

 Apart from the music and chatter, enthusiastically the fresher’s discussed and worked on Physics. The management in the rooms had gone berserk. Things lay all scattered and the focus was to complete the assignments and get up on time.  After a hectic week a two day holiday was granted to the fresher’s.  Nitesh and Bijoy had become good friends with Mannu and they three spent most of the time in 510.  The assignments were divided among three, Physics for Mannu, Mathematics for Nitesh and Chemistry for Bijoy. This division of labour help them gain some sleep at night.

The long awaited weekend had finally come and the whole hostel was asleep till 11. Breakfast was missed and homemade laddoos, salted wafers, biscuits helped Mannu kill the hunger till lunch. But the dullness in the lunch and dinner had started building up. Only the evening snack was a reprieve but it was served only once. Hiding faces, even changing T shirts to go unrecognized in the queue didn’t help. The mess workers were adept at stopping this theft. Mannu had started playing cricket and very soon he was inducted in the team of Ssenior’s, just as an extra, but it was an honour.

Going by the busy schedule Mannu’s lifestyle had found a new dimension. Calls were frequently missed. Even the tone of his voice rose if Mrs. K enquired much about the day’s happenings. He wanted to find some time for himself, but it was unavailable. College was to be attended with sincerity, so intense that the fresher’s had been barred to bring mobile phones to classes. Back at the room personal space was completely absent. Some one or the other was always present with Vipul, mostly a senior, and this again restricted Mannu’s space and time for himself. He felt irritated, but what could be done except making efforts to adjust oneself in the new situation. Most of the boys cared not to call back home even for weeks, but Mannu was a daily caller which compounded his problem. The new sim card that Pia had brought helped, but only a bit. Her messages were read by Mannu hours after they were delivered and his messages were read by her only when her mother was busy in the kitchen or with the TV, for it demanded a high risk on Pia’s part in inserting the sim, reading and replying to Mannu’s messages and replacing the sim with the original. It needed at least five to ten minutes and her mother’s business. Also it needed that no one call her mother during those quick minutes because a switch off message would again send a doubt.  On her demand for a new phone, she was told that it would come as a gift if she tops the final exams. Pia was sure that day was never to come. She had also adjusted.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 4, 2016)

The lectures had begun after a formal introduction. The class had a strength of 60 with seven  girls only. Tea had replaced the morning cup of milk. Hurriedly every guy from the hostel ran towards the classes to seat himself next to the future female engineers. On the first day itself boys had come out with a special theory on communication. They believed that how could they study topics on communication if they had no one to speak, no one to communicate? The main focus was on the practical application of theory. Every young impatient heart had only one thought in his head and on his lips.

“Bhai!!!ye wali mast hai!!!, Brother, this girl is awesome!!!”

The very next moment, thoughts changed.

“Bha!!!.ye wali bhi mast hai!!!, Brother, this girl is also awesome!!!” 

This continued the whole day long. It was the third day and long term relations were set for half of the class.  Anticipation of love had made the boys punctual and smartly dressed. Mannu dreamed of Pia in every girl that he looked and sometimes in every girl he gazed. On the academic front terminologies had evolved. Periods were now lectures. Mathematics was now engineering mathematics. The grading system was such that no one failed. Strange, isn’t it? They just secured ‘backs’. Maybe, ‘backs’ didn’t hurt the conscience of the students. Vipul, Shubh and several other boys had started casual interaction with the girls during lecture breaks. A few from the rural background were busy among themselves. Being non proficient in English, they preferred to have a whole boys group. Mannu’s interaction with the girls was also limited as he used the breaks to reply to the long messages to Pia, who had brought a new number for herself. She had risked her mother’s passport to get a new sim card. As and when her mother was out she replaced the sim card, called or messaged Mannu and again put things back to safety. A confirmation call from the operator had been missed and it had created some confusion in her house. Pia’s mother picked up the call and refused to confirm the details. But luckily the sim card was made operational. The long day ended with introductory lectures. The evening was again set for the circus. It had to continue for a month as told by Vipul who had some senior’s as school mates. As a consequence he was now being saved of mockery. Instead he sat among the seniors and watched his colleagues perform the absurd show. This created some ill feelings among most of the boys. Vipul was seen as an outsider. He seemed to be one among the bosses. Also, he only came to sleep at the room and rest of the time he was busy outside the hostel either at the canteen, where the fresher’s were not allowed to enter yet or in the gym where again the entry for fresher’s was barred.  

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 3, 2016)

“Hey...I’m Vipul. I’m from Delhi.”  He was Mannu’s room partner.

“Mannu... from Lucknow.” The letter V was following him. Mannu smiled and started unpacking the suitcase.

“Did you come today?”Vipul asked Mannu while changing. He was in formals over bathroom slippers.

“Ya...feeling very tired yaar...”

“Hmmm..You must be. Take some rest. Catch you later buddy.”Vipul said and left the room. Mannu immediately checked the mobile phone. There were three missed calls from Pia. But all he could do was to wait for her to call again.

 Introducing himself in front of the seniors six to even fifteen times in an hour, Mannu’s face, his complete body and even his hanky had become a store house for sweat.   The style of introduction was unique. The fresher’s had to say their  name in English, their  father’s name in Hindi. Walking on the ladder of English and Hindi, the first year tumbled on every step and each time one had to start from the beginning. Mannu as well as the other boys couldn’t figure out the real motive of this ‘introduction act’ from the faces of the seniors’ aka the real BOSSES of the college. One thing that Mannu could actually realize was that he was nothing except the five letter name. Repeating ‘Mannu’ times and times again, he doubted why and how did he exist for so long? Oh momma!!! He never wanted to be see-n-ear a senior.

As a usual routine they had to be dressed in formals the whole day, lined up straight like the Qutub Minar even to fill their stomachs. One wouldn’t mind not wishing the faculties, but no fresher could escape the bosses without a ‘Good morning Boss’, ‘Good evening Boss’ or sometimes why not a ‘Go to hell Boss!!!’ Stand by their permission and leave by theirs. One had to kill his free will to survive. Mannu and similarly the other boys were missing home and on the way to the mess, home delicacies were eagerly remembered. Mrs. K had cooked biryani, but Channu had informed Mannu that she didn’t eat and even cried on the table. Mannu had become so busy that he could not talk to her, hours after the knowing that she cried. He knew the cause. He also knew the solution, but he was kept occupied in silly activities and mobile phone was to kept back at the room. Missed calss from Pia had become more frequent. The melodrama ended by late night which left no scope to call back either at home or to Pia. Mannu had to sleep with guilt. Life had shown its second phase. Everything here was dipped in the lake of change.

The two seat, two almirah and two tabled room number 510 was his new hideout. God had had some petty on him as Vipul, was also from the same branch, Electronics and Communication. Vipul, had a flat long nose and only his French style beard could support it. They both had same music interests, literary interests and they were even of the same height. Sitting in the corridor, they listened to only one song, but for hours. The whole corridor was mostly filled by the ECians. Mannu was named Slash by everyone for his guitar playing.

Evenings passed but Mannu found few minutes, without forget, to talk at home. They were concerned about the meals, the health and safety of Mannu.  They were missing him more than he was missing them. Only Mannu knew the pain he had buried in his heart. But there was the brighter side of life. Pia was much happier of his being in Jaipur.  Now Mannu had no fear of mummy and her daily questions ‘Kiska phone tha?’, but the time to talk was unavailable. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 2, 2016)

“The moon would never be visible from here.” He said to himself and went in to check the bathroom. It was clean and properly lit. After washing himself he simply put the suitcase in the almirah and locked it up. The new life had begun. It was plain, limited, but the beginning of Mannu’s career. He called Mrs. K, Mr. K, answered their impatient queries in a relaxed manner and went to sleep till he heard the knocking on the room.

“Are you Mannu?” Asked the boy. He was plum, dark and tall. He wore a Reebok cap, track suit and shoes of the same brand and had a very big electronic gadget in his hand. Mannu became nervous. His mind started comparing his condition with the boy.

“Yes...I’m Mannu from Lucknow. And you? Come in please. Are you staying in this room?”

“Boss boy. Call me Raghav Boss. I’m your senior. Don’t you wish your senior?”

“Good...Good evening Sir. Sorry Boss. Good evening boss.” replied Mannu, leaving the handle bar of the door and facing the senior in an alert attitude.

“Reach the playground in 5 mintues. T shirt, shorts and black formal shoes.” And he went to the next room. Till Mannu could understand what had happened, time had already started ticking. He opened the suitcase and quickly took out the shorts and T shirt. It was an embarrassing combination, but it was the order for the evening. Mannu locked the room and went out. There was silence in the corridor. After a while he saw a boy coming downstairs. He was wearing a kurta pyjama  on running shoes. Like Mannu, he too looked horrible. This came as a jolt to both of them. And exchanging greeting only through smiles they reached the playground, which seemed covered with circus artists or better recognized as the first year.

Running rounds in formal shoes was not an easy task, nor was it was it easy to play volleyball in kurta pyjama. It was even more difficult to play football in a blazer,  that too in the summers and it was very tiring to play leg cricket in plated trousers. And the seniors were having a good time. It was the start of spring for them. Commanding a group of fresher’s they were sitting, watching the circus go on and the whole college was lined up on the play ground boundaries. Mannu was hurt. The new shoes had started biting him, but stopping or retiring was to be punished by an extra round so he never dared to do so.

“Welcome to your new life. As you finish the order of your senior, line up in front of the mess.” An announcement, from some corner, was heard. And the same followed, almost mechanically. Queues were made. Again, separate for girls who were giggling and passing smiles at the boys. The mess was near hostel number 2. In strict discipline the evening snacks were offered. The seniors had occupied all the benches. Thus the show went on even in the mess. No interaction could follow among the fresher’s. Sipping tea and gulping the aloo pakoda all were asked to go back to respective rooms.

C U 2MROW @ 9 (August 1, 2016)

Keeping the luggage in a store room the fresher’s were lined up to board the bus. There was chatter, giggle and sudden silence in the queue on the order of seniors. Every bus was under the command of a senior and this restricted the exchange of greetings among the new comers to short, but prompt hi and hello. The dispensary was on the same route that Mannu had travelled to reach the college. Barren mountains surrounded the national highway and the young hopeful faces.

“Step down one by one and maintain silence.” The senior spoke aloud. He was a short guy with an unusual dressing in front of the fresher’s who were looking suave in formals. But his command was duly respected and a queue, separate for girls and boys was formed outside the dispensary. It was the same place where Mannu had made the flower purchase. Next to it a glimpse of the grand Amber palace could be stolen. The senior went in to meet the doctor. Immediately the anxiety in the young students gave way.

“Hey...I’m Dev from Chandigarh.”

“Mannu from lucknow. Hi”

“Shubh from Kota, Hi. How do you find Rajasthan?”

“Not so hot as I had expected and not so barren as I have seen in posters.” Mannu replied, wiping the sweat and keeping an alert eye on the entrance of the dispensary.

“Ohh..that’s the western part. Here it is easy and...”Shubh had to stop suddenly as the senior had arrived. He called the names one by one and the formality was completed within an hour. The journey back to the college was dull. Mannu again found a backseat and nostalgia over gripped him. Vivi was missing, the streets of Lucknow,the jalebi’s of Chotelal had been replaced by age old mountains and ghevar. But the thought of Pia gave him strength to befriend the place. Just the thought that Pia had a connection with this place made him comfortable, made him miss Lucknow, a little less.

After collecting the baggage the fresher’s were directed to respective hostels. Shubh had been called to Hostel number 3 and Mannu was allotted hostel number 2, just in front of the third year students. Mannu went in the three storey building. His room was on the first floor. Room number 510. The rooms were for twin occupancy. As he entered he saw that one side had already been occupied, mattress laid and a few books lay on the study table. Almirah was tightly locked. But it gave him no idea about who was his room partner. He missed Channu, thought about the playfulness they had in their room as he unloaded the luggage with a heavy heart. There was an almirah, a cot, a pair of table and chair. That’s it. Mannu was lucky to have a attached bathroom. He was tired. He opened the window which was on the side of the yet unknown room partner and sat there for a while, sipping water. The building of another hostel was visible, only walls. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 31, 2016)

It was the safest spot for the new comers, preferably called Fresher’s or simply ‘first year’. Water was being served in jugs and Mannu gulped a portion from one without even being seated. The registration process was a task of several signatures, verification of documents, photograph, and identity proof. The fresher’s were directed to keep all the documents ready. So the fresher’s, in a mechanical fashion, had kept the files and folders on their lap and most of them sat alert, but confused. A few of the boys were busy finding the best among the girls, the most fair, the tallest, slimmest and the most beautiful and some of them were moving in and out of the hall in turns. It seemed that they knew some seniors and that company gave them escape from the general code of conduct. Mannu found a backseat with empty sides, took out the document folder and kept it on his lap. After wiping the sweat from his face he could find courage to turn around and take a breath of relief.  

“Mannu...Mannu...”A female voice was heard. Everyone was looking around as it was the seond call for Mannu.

“Mannu. Admission from Lucknow.”

Abruptly Mannu stood up and down went the folder and the hanky.

“Yes, Yes Mam...Mannu” He spoke loudly with a raised hand. Heads turned towards him and restlessness took control of him. For a while he dragged the suitcase with him, but he stopped suddenly rethinking whether he should carry the bag with him or not. The female voice was heard again saying,

 “Leave your bags there. Pick up the folder and hurry up.”

“Yes Yes Mam.”Head were still turned towards him. This kept the restlessness high.

“Good morning Mam”

“Afternoon.  Class twelfth mark sheet?”The lady enquired. He produced it and secretly looked the time by his watch. It was almost one.

“Five passport size photographs. Coloured.” He produced them.

“Oho...I need one with a white background.” She sighed and showed Mannu the instructions. It was clearly written, but this instruction page was not to be found on the website. He came out with no answer. She waited for a while, looked at him again, nodded her head in disdain and carried on with the pasting them on different forms. A cross signature on each of the photograph was demanded. Meanwhile she sipped tea and made a sarcastic comment about the fresher’s with her colleague who was busy stapling photographs of a girl. These rounds of comments had made Mannu upset. To further add to it he was given a medical form which had to be signed by a doctor from a government hospital.

“Excuse me Mam where can I find the doctor?”

“Yaa. You will find a bus from the main gate. Tell the driver to drop you at Amber medical dispensary.”

This was like a shock for him. He thought that the doctor would be available in some different hall. But a bigger distance had to be travelled. Fortunately,  the room number was allotted, but accommodation was to be finalised only after submission of the medical form. It had to be done by evening. 

C U 2MROW @ 9 (July 30, 2016)

The campus was a bit familiar to Mannu as he had gone through the institute’s website several times in the past few days. After reaching there it was confirmed that the pictures posted there were real and seeing the real reflection, Mannu developed a sense o f intimacy with the playground, the class building and the hostels.  One of Pia’s relatives had passed out from the same college. She had suggested several names from the faculty if needed in case of emergency.  After entering the gates he was greeted by some new faces.

 “Hey...1^st year?” came a unanimous query. And Mannu came out only with a yes, moving steadily towards the admission hall. The grunt of the rolling suitcase accompanied him. Nervousness too!

“Where’s the way to the admission hall?”Mannu asked a group of boys sitting at the T junctions of the pathway. A silly chatter began among them.

“There” said a tall guy pointing his finger towards the entrance gate of the college.

“I’m asking about the admission hall.”He asked again unable to decide whether to move or wait for the answer.

“Here we ask the questions boy..Got it?Got it?” A bearded boy spoke from among them.

“Hmm.” Came Mannu’s humble reply.

“What Hmm? Have some manners boy. Say I got it Sir. I got it Sir.” Mannu could think of no other option, but to toe his line. The change in Mannu’s life was showing its ugly face; bearded, dark, surrounded with a puff of smoke.

“I got it Sir.”Mannu answered and waited in anticipation of being told the way to the admission hall.

“Boy we are five here not one. Say it to each one of us and with your right hand on your head. Chal shuru ho ja.” 

And Mannu had to toe his line, again. The start would be so fatal was not expected. Giggles and clap of high five’s of the passer’s by increased the anxiety within Mannu. Sweat dripped from his forehead onto the suitcase. Home was so better. But it was six hundred kilometres away now. The reality was that there was no running away from this insult. As Mannu had completed the order given he was told the way. His water bottle was emptied by the group and he did not dare ask the way to the water cooler. Silently he rushed to the admission hall without looking sideways.

“Why were the passer’s by laughing, giggling? What were they thinking about me?” These introspective questions crushed his confidence.  Going by the sign boards he finally found the admission hall. It was a place of discipline. Portraits of inventors, scientists and plated quotations decorated the walls. And boys, in formals, were sitting at one side and girls in salwar suits beautified the other side of the admission counter.

Ascent-Managing missed targets

It goes without saying that in the long phase of preparation, a few days we may have some other compulsions to attend to, other than the study targets or just things won't go as we want them. And the mind directs us to go back to books, complete the targets and that doesn't seem to happen even after efforts. Guilt creeps in. Neither are we fully participative in the moment nor do we progress on our targets.

What next?

Go back to your planner. If you don't have one it is advisable to make it. Make the equations in the pages itself.

For example,
On monday if I had to write 4 to 5 answers as a routine and give a reading to India's  freedom struggle and due to some reasons this is missed, I tried to increase study time the next day and complete the left over targets in parts, allotting some time throughout the week without compromising on the next day's targets.

But it isn't so mechanical. After efforts also things skipped, but I kept track on them by marking in the planner itself and planned the next targets accordingly. And if things went really out of control I took a day or two to complete the past targets and then move on to newer targets. It is about how you manage according to situations.

Having a tentative macro plan till the date of the examination and trying to reach there by weekly or monthly targets will help define the steps to be taken, bit by bit and keep oneself on a constant self vigil.

Be honest with yourself.

I hope this helps. All the best.

Ascent-My booklist for sociology

Base book for paper 1

Haralambos and Holborn

Also gave a reading to book by Anthony Giddens as it contains abridged information of several of those topics contained in Haralambos. The book makes a good read for GS also.

Ignou BA

T.B. Bottomore

Paper 2

Class notes(Rau's IAS)

Answer formats of Vision IAS

Ignou BA

Modernization of Indian Tradition:Yogendra Singh

Indian Social System: Ram Ahuja

Several of the books I read just because I enjoyed them. They can be safely avoided. But if time allows selective reading(according to the syllabus) can be done.

New horizons of public administration

Contemporary India: Chandhoke and Priyadarshi

Social Change in India: Yogendra Singh

Score in CSE 2014

PAPER 1-107
PAPER 2-120